The Biggest Pop Culture Flops of 2022: Tory Lanez, Nicki Minaj, and More

This was a year unlike any other, in that I simply do not remember a thing that happened and nothing made any sense. Okay, so maybe it was just like every other year since I graduated high school. But one thing 2022 had in droves was all-out, OMG-worthy, text-your-group-chat-immediately pop-culture flop bombs. Perhaps more than anything else, those flops will be what we remember most fondly when we look back.

Now that we’re safely into 2023 and have escaped the final hours of the year that gave us not one but two theatrical runs of Morbius, we can reminisce together about the duds of the past 365 days. In 2022, no one was safe from flopping. Celebrities who we haven’t heard from in years even crawled out of the woodwork to say hello, in the form of a poem they wrote about motherhood for a certain bald Russian president. More on that in a second, of course. But first, let’s touch on the rules.

The metric by which we all use to define success differs by person. For instance, Taylor Swift’s Midnights broke about 72 different records last year, including having songs from the album in each of the top 10 spots of Billboard’s Hot 100 chart. While that’s certainly impressive, I also found it to be boring. Of course Taylor Swift fans are going to make that happen. Is it really that fascinating that Taylor Swift fans bought and streamed her music that much when the woman has a fanbase as large and powerful as the army of a small Albanian country? Not really!

What defines a flop is its absolute inescapability. A true flop is the kind of thing you can’t run from, something you may even hear mention of on NPR when you’re trying to do a social media detox. It’s not just that Midnights is a tepid album. It’s that the fanfare surrounding it caused Ticketmaster to crash and burn when Swift fans tried to score tickets to her latest tour.

Taylor Swift’s ‘Midnights’ Album Is Shockingly Dull

Midnights was too safe—its writing didn’t have that Swiftian bite, and its production was dated on arrival. But the real story, the one that shook millions of bank accounts, was how the ripple effect from that flop album made an indelible mark on the biggest concert ticketing monopoly in the world. Like the other items on this list, it was a flop and a major story of the year.

These are the things that most of us can delight in to some degree, even if they depress us. But depression is so 2022. Now, we can look back and laugh at what was.

Portia’s Wardrobe in ‘The White Lotus’

Let me get the obvious out of the way here for the people that live on Twitter all day: Yes, I’m completely aware that the costuming choices for Portia (Haley Lu Richardson) in The White Lotus Season 2 were intentional for her character. Richardson told my colleague Fletcher Peters as much. She’s a doe-eyed twenty-something lost in Sicily, of course she’s mimicking ’90s revival trends from TikTok by scooping things up from the Urban Outfitters clearance rack. We’ve all been there! But it doesn’t mean she’s free from flopping.

If Portia’s outfit choices had been a little less “Britney Spears at Disneyland in 1999,” maybe she wouldn’t have been so easily duped into dickmatized distractions and had the clothing confidence to save her boss. The only thing poor Portia influenced out of us was a bunch of memes.

‘The White Lotus’ Star Haley Lu Richardson Got to Live Her Italian Dream

Jennifer Lopez's “Album Announcement”

Listen, I’ve been rooting for Jennifer Lopez my whole life. But some people just need to learn about the concept of radical acceptance, where you come to terms with what has happened in relation to what will be, and go from there. What has happened to Lopez’s once vibrant music career is that she has become a singles artist, releasing a string of middling songs since her last full-length album nearly a decade ago. What will be is the release of an album that will finally stop the production of CDs altogether.

Lopez’s forthcoming album, This Is Me… Now—a continuation of sorts to her 2002 album This Is Me… Then—was announced at the end of November to no noise. Lopez blacked out her entire Instagram feed prior to the announcement, causing fans to suspect an imminent drop of new music. Instead, they got this hilariously bonkers teaser video, an album tracklist, and a half-hour interview with Zane Lowe. No tracklist, no release date. A few days later, all of Lopez’s Instagram posts were back up, making the announcement one of the hundreds of others. You cannot convince me this “album” will ever see the light of day. And if it does, I am ready to eat crow, blended up and poured in one of Lopez’s famous bling cups.

Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker's Wedding

If there was one couple who went into 2022 guns (or should I say “tongues”) blazing, it was Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker. These two crazy kids can’t go anywhere without swapping spit and grinding on each other—even family barbecues! All year long, we’ve had to hear about Kourtney guzzling Travis’ Barkers’ cum to increase her fertility, along with echoes of them cooing “Babe! Baby!’ It’s enough to make you feel like you just walked in on a stranger taking a shower.

The Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker PDA Has Officially Gotten Out of Control

But their biggest misfire was their romantic Italian wedding, which was dressed by disgraced designers Dolce & Gabbana in their latest attempt to return to public favor. The nuptials drew the Kardashian-Jenner family to Italy for some photo ops, but for all the fanfare made of it in the press and in their own reality show, does anyone really care? Get Lana Del Rey to perform, like your little sis, then we’ll talk!

Nicki Minaj's Abominable Single "Super Freaky Girl"

This one feels like I just grabbed you, dear reader, and pulled you into a dark alleyway, where I will tell you something wearing a large trench coat and a comically oversized Carmen Sandiego fedora. You weren’t followed, were you? Good. Nicki Minaj has Barbz everywhere.

Minaj’s “lead single” for her “upcoming album,” “Super Freaky Girl,” was released back in August. Fans loved it, and most critics were too afraid to call it what it really was: a corny retread of “Anaconda,” with bars Minaj could’ve written in her sleep and a sample that did all of the heavy lifting for her. What’s worse, it was co-produced by Dr. Luke, who has been embroiled in lawsuits for a decade with Kesha over allegations of assault. The song continued Minaj’s pattern of unapologetically working with alleged and convicted abusers, leading Barbz to call out sick from work to defend their idol from their parent’s basement.

To cap it all off, Minaj performed the song at the VMAs in an abysmal compilation of her greatest career hits, which only pointed out just how weak this song is compared to her past work. And she did it in a Rue21 skirt and blue-colored doll contacts. That might be the scariest part.

The Entire Existence of ‘Amsterdam'

Enough has been said about the cataclysmic bomb that was Amsterdam, a star-studded affair that audiences and critics hated in equal measure. I dare not give this any more attention than I already have. But I will note that we’re still owed an explanation by every single star who signed on the dotted line to make a movie directed by David O. Russell, a confessed abuser who groped his trans niece. We’re all ears, Miss Americana!

The ‘Don't Worry Darling’ Press Tour

It’s still absolutely gobsmacking that Don’t Worry Darling did not open at the box office with $2 billion. How, after the most scandal-laden press tour in recent memory, this wasn’t the most attended movie of the millennium is beyond me.

There was the Olivia Wilde CinemaCon custody serve drama; leaked videos of Wilde begging Shia Labeouf to return to the film; Florence Pugh’s refusal to attend any press events; and accusations of Harry Styles spitting on Chris Pine. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! And all for a movie that’s simply just…fine. Don’t Worry Darling’s reputation will precede it forever, and we’ll always have this wacko year to look back on and say, “God, that was annoying.”

The ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ Press Tour Fiasco: Who Comes Off Worst in All the Drama?

Elliott's Guitar Solo for Rue in ‘Euphoria’

Presented without comment. Actually, wait, one comment: If a man picks up an acoustic guitar he should be automatically sentenced to six months of community service minimum.

Mexican Week on ‘Great British Baking Show'

Whatever British bozo thought it would be a good idea for a team of four white judges to take on a Mexican food-themed week in the GBBS tent needs a visit from Scotland Yard. A single hour of television of what should be feel-good television managed to be the most obnoxious and offensive event of the year. Goodbye, and good riddance to (now-former) judge Matt Lucas. And then there were three. Your days are numbered, Paul Hollywood! Anyone who aided and abetted the pronunciation of “guacamole” as “glockymolo” will earn their just desserts in time.

‘The Great British Baking Show’ Should Be Canceled After Mexican Week

Rihanna’s Comeback

When people say, “We’ve waited years for this,” it’s usually exaggerated to some extent. Maybe you have been waiting years for it, but have the rest of us? But in the case of Rihanna’s comeback, it’s safe to say that the entire public has been anticipating new music from the pop star since her last full-length album—her best yet—in 2016. News of Riri’s upcoming Super Bowl halftime performance lit the match, which was quickly blown out by two new songs on the Black Panther: Wakanda Forever soundtrack.

“Lift Me Up” and “Born Again” are two great songs (if your Calm App is glitching and you need something to fall asleep to). They will go down in history! (As some of the biggest misfires of Rihanna’s illustrious career.) What’s more, Rihanna topped off those two cinderblocks of music by casting Johnny Depp in her Fenty x Savage Vol. 4 show. If this is a sign of things to come, maybe we should just consider Anti her retirement album to temper the heartbreak.

AnnaLynne McCord’s Poem for Vladimir Putin

Nothing in 2022 was quite so surreal as seeing 90210 actress AnnaLynne McCord’s name pop up on our Twitter feeds like it was 2012 all over again. Well, except when we discovered why. McCord wrote and recorded a poem to President Vladimir Putin, detailing how things may have been different for him—and, I guess, the world?—if she had been his mother. I’m still grappling with the cultural whiplash I received from hearing “Dear President Vladimir Putin, I’m so sorry that I was not your mother.” And that was only the beginning. She still loses points on this one for not telling him, if she were his mother, she would’ve brought him to Designer Shoe Warehouse and bought him the light-up velcro sneakers we all coveted as kids. Now that could’ve caused a real change.

Gwen Stefani’s Makeup Line

The most consistently depressing part of every year post-2008 has been whatever the hell is happening with Gwen Stefani. Each year, I deliver a Stefani State of the Union. And this year, things aren’t looking too good. How does a woman who was once the very definition of the word “cool” come toppling down so far? Marry Blake Shelton, for starters. And for the main course, hock a new beauty line that’s being marketed toward “ambassadors” to buy and sell themselves.

You’re telling me that the woman who used to be the most punk celeb in the world—who made pink hair and braces a rad fashion statement—is trying to dump her makeup products on people to sell like Tupperware parties? What’s next, bring in a downline and become the next LulaRoe? I’m despondent. Somebody play Love. Angel. Music. Baby. now before I devolve into full catatonia.

Tory Lanez’s Time in Court

Tory Lanez, who was accused by rapper Megan Thee Stallion of shooting her in the foot back in 2020, was found guilty on all three counts in a Los Angeles courtroom just before Christmas. For over two years, Megan has been subject to misogynistic vitriol as a result of not being believed about the events of the night she was shot. But as an early Christmas present, the jury ruled in her favor. Like Megan Thee Stallion’s 2020 album and Kamala Harris once said, I love good news! May the verdict be an indication of a focused move toward protecting women in 2023 and far, far beyond.

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