Bill Kirby: The Greek alphabet meets its match
"Tomato, tomato, potato, potato
Let's call the whole thing off."
– Ira Gershwin
I used to be pretty good at the Greek alphabet.
In fact, I could say each letter in order, going down the list in about 10 seconds … while holding a lighted match between my thumb and forefinger … behind my back.
This was a skill my college fraternity deemed necessary during a week when hell was summoned, and as a consummate show-off, I also practiced saying the letter-list backward.
I bring this up because our national need to pick fights seems to have us divided on how to pronounce the Greek letter "omicron," which has been stuck as a label on the latest COVID strain.
Everyone I know pronounces it "AAHH-ma-kron."
Somehow this has provoked a snit among the snooty, who insist it should be "OH-ma-kron."
It has also perplexed the White House, whose current resident pronounced it "Omni-Kron."
That's not all. Some even find fault with the World Health Organization decision to skip the Greek letters Nu and Xi to get to Omicron. There is a general consensus this was done because Nu, could be confused with "new" by TV news readers, and Xi also happens to be the name of the leader of China.
Whatever.
As national debates go, it's right up there with Bart Simpson gleefully shouting the name of the seventh planet of our solar system.
As for me, I say get ready for your Pi booster, but don't be surprised if they skip over to Sigma.
We could be running out of matches.
TODAY'S JOKE: A husband was watching the weekend football games while his wife was busy outside in her garden. She came in and was washing her hands when she heard her husband call out, "Hey, what's for supper?"
The woman threw down her hand towel, wheeled around and angrily responded, "Tell you what … why don't you just pretend I'm out of town, then go ahead and fix your own supper."
She stalked off to take a shower and clean up. Thirty minutes later she walked out as her husband took a steak off the grill and placed it on plate that also included french fries and a large salad.
He sat down to a place at the table and began to eat.
She watched him quietly for a moment, then asked, "You didn't fix any for me?"
The husband looked up, shrugged and said, "I thought you were out of town."
Bill Kirby has reported, photographed and commented on life in Augusta and Georgia for 45 years.
This article originally appeared on Augusta Chronicle: COVID-19 variant Omicron sparks a Greek streak of mispronunciation
