‘SNL’ skewers VP debate (VIDEO)
"Saturday Night Live" devoted its cold-open to the vice presidential debate, skewering Joe Biden's exasperated reactions to Paul Ryan, Ryan and Mitt Romney's vague economic plan, tough moderator Martha Raddatz and the relative insignificance of the debate itself.
"Just a reminder, your performance tonight is extremely unlikely to affect the outcome of the election," Raddatz, played by newcomer Kate McKinnon, said at the top of Saturday's opening sketch.
Biden, played by Jason Sudeikis, was portrayed as a bully. When McKinnon asked the candidates to explain what "malarkey" meant, Ryan, played by Taran Killam, said, "It's Irish."
"No, no, no," Sudeikis' Biden said. "Irish is I come over there and smack that dumb look off your face."
"Hey, do I sound like Jim Lehrer? Do I look like I'm Jim Lehrer?" McKinnon, who played Ann Romney earlier this season, asked. "Then don't try to f--- me like I'm Jim Lehrer. Are we clear?"
[Related: Colbert steps out of character to assess Romney on 'Meet the Press' (VIDEO)]
Whose hometown has been hit harder by the economic downturn was also a subject of the mock debate.
"I know what I'd say to my friend and the people of Janesville [Wis.]," Sudeikis' Biden said. "Things may be bad where you live but I guarantee you it is a paradise next to the burning coal heap that is Scranton, Pennsylvania."
"If you went to the lowest circle of hell, you'd still be 45 minutes outside of Scranton," he joked.
Later, when asked to provide specifics on his economic plan, Ryan replied: "No. But let me say it again with hand gestures."
The VP debate also provided plenty of fodder on "Weekend Update."
"Congressman Ryan prepared for Thursday's debate by studying policy and holding practice debates," Seth Meyers said. "I think Biden prepared by shot-gunning Red Bull and watching Yosemite Sam cartoons."
"During Thursday's debate Vice President Biden repeatedly criticized Paul Ryan's statements calling them a 'bunch of stuff," Meyers continued. "In fairness, 'a bunch of stuff' is the entire text of the Romney/Ryan economic plan."
[Related: 'SNL' skewers first presidential debate, Chris Matthews, Big Bird (VIDEO)]
More political punchlines from the "Weekend Update" transcript:
"Mitt Romney on Tuesday once again tried to distance himself from his infamous 47 percent comments, saying, 'the words that came out were not what I meant.' And if that sounds like a good excuse to you, try it on your girlfriend."
"In an interview Wednesday Mitt Romney, who had previously stated he would not introduce legislation limiting abortion, vowed that he would still be a 'pro-life president.' Which makes sense because Romney defines 'life' as anybody making over $250,000 a year."
"Children's Television Workshop on Tuesday asked the Obama campaign to stop running an ad featuring Big Bird saying that Sesame Street and its characters are nonpartisan. President Obama knew Big Bird was serious when he saw his car."