Boca therapist's new book helps readers find happiness and love through self-understanding
Longtime Boca Raton psychologist Kristen Bomas became a mental-health therapist to promote emotional healing — both within herself and the clients she’s counseled for the last three-plus decades.
And now she’s published a new book, "The Journey of a Sage," which chronicles her journey of self-healing and describes the steps we can all take to live happier, more emotionally fulfilling lives.
“Because not everyone can afford to see me privately and/or every week, I wanted to reach anyone who is interested in creating greater love and freedom in their lives,” she explains. “With this book, I can let people know how simple it is to master their challenges, and disentangle the nonsense and patterns we have in our lives.”
Her own journey
Throughout high school, Bomas says “I had no sense of belonging. I felt ugly and, at times, worthless. And like so many young women, I first tried to define myself through a man.”
But that relationship with her first boyfriend, whom she met in high school and continued dating when she attended college, eventually turned abusive.
And she had no idea how to extricate herself from the situation.
“It took several friends to pull me out of it,” she recalls.
Likewise, while in college, an exercise during a small class forced her to face her own shortcomings.
“The professor asked the group how they felt about me,” she recalls. “The group seemed to speak as one: There were times when they didn’t like me because they felt I was a know-it-all.”
There was no denying that such a blunt assessment hurt.
But it also sparked something else in her: curiosity.
“I followed the pain — and leaned into learning more about why people would have this perception,” says Bomas.
And thus started a self-examination that would inform her unique multi-pronged approach to counseling — which she describes as a combination of clinical psychology, Buddhism, 12-step programs, the Tao, and indigenous shamanic practices, among others.
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The Sage’s Template
As Bomas’ practice evolved, she created a trademarked “tool” — which she called The Sage’s Template — to help her clients “master their most difficult challenges, unlock their own inner wisdom, and revel in the self-understanding it brings.”
At its core, the premise of the template is that all emotions stem from what Bomas calls “The Self” and “The Other.”
These are the internal thoughts and behaviors that we can all control, and exogenous influences that we must learn how to properly react to.
Bomas explains that "The Journey of a Sage" will guide readers through “understanding that things fall into either fear- or love-based emotions, where you are either uncomfortable or comfortable, respectively.”
According to Bomas, “As you go through life and learn to look at everything that happens through the lens of the template, it makes everything — including healing — simpler. Readers will take away multiple opportunities to develop a greater relationship with their Self, understand why objectivity of others is so crucial, learn how to communicate in a way that is new and far more effective, and realize that they should embark upon a path of mastery of those challenges and patterns that limit the love and happiness in their lives.”
At a book-signing last month in Boca Raton, attendees were anxious to hear Bomas speak and dive into what she’d written.
“I’ve known Kristen for a very long time, and she is such an amazing healer — helping you heal even when you don’t realize she is,” said Patricia Wilfert of Pompano Beach. “She has the gift, which is why I’m excited to read this book and apply its teachings.”
Valentina Moretti of Boca Raton echoed those sentiments, noting “I look forward to finding an easier, simpler way to master life’s difficulties and to be able to teach my kids, in a non-dramatic way, to find peace in where you are at the moment.”
"The Journey of a Sage" is Bomas’ second book. Her first — 2017’s “Stop Judging Your Self: Transform Old Beliefs in 6 Steps” — was written to teach readers how to combat the inner critical voice we all succumb to at times in our lives.
Her latest effort, she says, is a more comprehensive guide for readers to get to better know themselves.
“The hard truth is that the people in your personal and professional lives won't always take the time to truly know you,” she says. “So that's why it's up to you to know yourself and the nature of your personal challenges.”
"The Journey of a Sage" is available at barnesandnoble.com and kristanbomas.com.
This article originally appeared on Palm Beach Post: 'The Journey of a Sage' by Kristan Bomas a guide to love and happiness
