Boston actor Ben Affleck is better than ever in watered-down 'Tender Bar'

With each movie it seems Ben Affleck grows more accomplished as an actor. Gone, hopefully, are the days of “Gigli” and the infamous, oft-derided “Animal Crackers” scene in “Armageddon.” They’ve been laid to rest by outstanding work in “Gone Girl,” “The Way Back” and “Argo,” for which he also won a best director Oscar.

That brilliance continues in George Clooney’s latest directorial effort, “The Tender Bar.” As the Noam Chomsky of a neighborhood Long Island tavern, Affleck’s Uncle Charlie is sharp, self-aware and an expert at reading the subtlest of social cues exhibited by his smorgasbord of hard-drinking patrons.

If the movie, culled from J.R. Moehringer’s best-selling memoir, were about Charlie and his sleek, teal-colored Cadillac convertible, we’d no doubt be in for something special. Alas, it’s not. Heck, Affleck is rarely in it, showing up only when the true protagonist, a moppet-cum-arrogant Yalie, needs a daddy figure to guide him through life’s many trials and tribulations.

His name is JR (no periods, please), the child of an unemployed mother and a deadbeat, alcoholic father (“Fifty Shades” trilogy-vet Max Martini) he sees only when it behooves Dad. Otherwise, Pops is just a mouth on the radio, a well-traveled D.J. (periods encouraged) JR (no periods) dubs “The Voice” (say, isn’t that name taken?).

Unlike the book, in which the kid has some legit bona fides, this JR is a drone of the first order. First presented in 1973 as a pint-sized, prepubescent “Hollywood kid” played by the drab Daniel Ranieri, and later a lovelorn Ivy Leaguer portrayed by Tye Sheridan, JR is the squeaky-clean hero existing exclusively in movies, particularly ones as laborious as this. Sorry, but he lost me at hello. Ditto for his blank-faced mom, played by Lily Rabe, looking like she’s late for a dentist appointment. But we’re the ones getting drilled, and without benefit of Novocain. Ouch!

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Local scenes: Movie cameras roll in Braintree for George Clooney's 'The Tender Bar'

It’s only 106 minutes but feels three times as longer thanks to characters barely registering a pulse. That includes the tyke’s serial-farting Grampy (Christopher Lloyd, looking like Riff Raff from “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”) and a Greek chorus of sots down at Uncle Charlie’s Dickensian alcohol emporium, aptly dubbed Dickens.

One gets the feeling William Monahan (the chief suspect in this crime against celluloid) found the name clever while adapting Moehringer’s memoir, in which the bar was named the nearly-as-clunky Publicans. The Dorchester native veers far from the talent that earned him an Oscar for penning Scorsese’s “The Departed,” ticking off a checklist of coming-of-age tropes you can see coming a mile away.

There’s no drama, not much plot and an utterly ambiguous point to be made. It’s a problem compounded by Monahan’s inability to infuse his characters with any spark. Wait, I stand corrected. There’s Affleck and his charming rendering of the wise and gentle Uncle Charlie.

Affleck, in a scruffy beard and tousled hair, never fails to engage with bursts of humor, gravitas and folksy charm. But someone please explain the Boston accents infiltrating a Long Island bar? Perhaps they were sublimely influenced by Massachusetts shooting locations.

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With a presence as strong as Affleck, it’s bizarre Clooney didn’t take greater advantage of him. His Charlie is certainly more compelling than the self-aggrandizement displayed by an adult JR, the film’s unreliable narrator.

By the end, this dramedy had me chortling, which would be OK, if that were Clooney’s intent. It’s not, and “The Tender Bar” is indication the guy who years ago directed the sensational “Good Night, and Good Luck” has gotten stuck on a path of mediocrity. But we'll always have Affleck. He’s the chaser that helps this moonshine go down a little more smoothly.

'The Tender Bar'

Rating: R for language throughout, some sexual content.

Runtime: 106 minutes

Cast: Ben Affleck, Tye Sheridan, Lily Rabe, Christopher Lloyd and Max Martini.

Where to watch: In select theaters Dec. 22; begins streaming on Amazon on Jan. 7.

Grade: C+

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This article originally appeared on The Patriot Ledger: George Clooney directs Ben Affleck in memoir 'The Tender Bar'