Breaking news: Bucs look ugly. Follow up story: No one cares.

TAMPA — The preseason was just minutes old, and already you were impressed by his on-field presence.

Good first-step quickness on the sideline. Impressive display of passion and fury. Outstanding use of the incredulous glare.

All in all, Bucs coach Bruce Arians gave the referee all he could handle.

As for his football team? Meh.

In a 19-14 loss to Cincinnati in the preseason opener Saturday night, Tom Brady and the first-team offense clocked out after six plays and three yards. Devin White and the first-team defense fared a little better in their seven plays by forcing a turnover after back-to-back 15-yard gains.

The rest of the night was like watching a community theater production of Les Miserables. There were a bunch of people you never heard of following the script and occasionally turning in some impressive solo performances, but it wasn’t anything like the real thing.

There were a lot of turnovers, a fair number of penalties (although as Arians was fond of pointing out on the sideline, not all of them seemed legit) and very little offense by Tampa Bay. And, remarkably, it lasted nearly three-and-a-half hours.

If you are concerned about this, you’ve missed the point. This was a learning experience, not a real game. The scoreboard was turned on, but the only grades that matter will be handed out by coaches in video sessions in the coming days.

And after listening to Arians, the honor roll will be pretty skimpy.

“A lot of bad, a lot of ugly,” Arians said. “The good was we came out healthy. It’s a start.”

At this point, health is the first, second and third priority, so it really wasn’t a bad night.

There may not be another team in the NFL with so few jobs at stake this month. The Bucs know all of their starters, and most of their backups. Around here, the preseason will be mostly about polishing up one of the NFL’s most precious rosters.

So Brady quickly gave way to Blaine Gabbert who bowed out in favor of Ryan Griffin who turned it over to rookie Kyle Trask. Between the four quarterbacks there were two interceptions (Griffin), one touchdown drive (Gabbert) and a few downfield teases (Trask). Combined, the Tampa Bay quarterbacks had a passer rating of 33.6.

And none of it mattered.

You know the entire evening is a little warped when offensive tackle Tristan Wirfs, who gave up one sack during the entire 2020 regular season, gets beat on an inside rush that forced Brady to hit the dirt to avoid a bigger hit.

And you know the Bucs are still working out the kinks when placekicker Ryan Succop mistakenly kicks an extra point conversion from the wrong spot on the field when they were supposed to be going for a two-point conversion.

And you know the film session will be filled with howls when players re-watch Javon Hagan making a spectacular one-handed interception, only to comically lose the ball while trying to run it back.

Still, there were some bright spots for the Bucs.

Playing in his first NFL game, Trask was only 4 of 15 passing, but he had a couple of long passes that were right on the mark but went incomplete.

And first-round pick Joe Tryon was lightning-quick while beating rookie tackle Gunnar Vogel to drop quarterback Brandon Allen in the backfield. Officials flagged the play for unnecessary roughness, which annoyed Arians enough to call a time-out to dispute it. Arians’ point was that the play called by the Bengals put Allen in position to be treated as a runner and not a quarterback.

Arians also complained about his team’s tackling and dropped passes by receivers, but you got the sense he wasn’t terribly angry. At this point, the Bucs are basically holding open auditions for special teams jobs and spots on the practice squad.

This team had a new quarterback, a new tight end, a new right tackle and later added a new receiver and running back without playing a single preseason game in 2020. And, if memory serves, that season turned out okay in Tampa Bay.

So don’t get too worked up about Saturday night’s result. Or the next two preseason games, for that matter.

When the time is right, the real Bucs will show up.

John Romano can be reached at jromano@tampabay.com. Follow @romano_tbtimes.

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