Bride-to-be reveals how social anxiety ruined her wedding reception nails: ‘I’m freaking out’
A set of French tip chrome nails went terribly awry when a bride-to-be’s social anxiety inhibited her from speaking out — and now her story is encouraging others to stand up for themselves in awkward customer service situations.
While bridal mishaps are no strangers to viral attention on TikTok — like the bride who dramatically changed her smile by getting Botox injections right before her wedding or the bridal mehndi that went so wrong it shocked the bride’s family and friends — the video from Ashtyn Bodensteiner (@ashtynbodensteiner) is serving as an important lesson in self-advocacy, even when it’s uncomfortable.
However, for those with social anxiety, speaking up and standing firm can be a daunting struggle. To find out how to better self-advocate with anxiety, In The Know by Yahoo spoke to mental health expert Angela Nauss.
‘Wedding reception nails gone wrong’
In her video — captioned, “Wedding reception nails gone wrong” — Bodensteiner recalls how her wedding manicure went very differently than she’d hoped.
Despite having shown her nail artist a photo of the design she wanted — thin white tips with a chrome finish — she knew from the very first nail that she wasn’t getting the look she’d asked for.
“I’m really bad at speaking up, but these are for wedding-related things. If there’s anytime I’m going to speak up and make sure that they’re right, it’s going to be at this appointment,” she recalls telling herself in the moment.
So, in spite of her nerves and anxiety, Bodensteiner spoke up and addressed her concerns.
However, when the technician went to correct the nail, he still didn’t capture the look Bodensteiner had asked for. But rather than push back, the bride-to-be accepted the look, saying the nails were “perfect.”
The anxiety of the situation was later compounded by the fact that Bodensteiner allowed the technician to help another customer during her appointment, she said, and to talk her out of the chrome finish she had wanted for her nails.
In the end, after sitting in the salon for nearly three hours, Bodensteiner, eager to be done with the appointment and go home, told the technician again that everything looked perfect — and then tipped him 35%.
‘I’m gonna start being a nail buddy for hire’
Based on the comments, Bodensteiner isn’t the only one who has trouble self-advocating in customer service situations.
“I got a whole TATTOO that I didn’t want because of social anxiety,” commented @hi.its.bethany.
“For my wedding nails I went to a new salon and put on a new persona and made sure I spoke up! I would never at my regular spot haha,” wrote @dreakarina.
“I’m gonna start being a nail buddy for hire. I’ll go sit with you and tell them when it’s wrong for you. I’ll be the loud friend,” commented @illwriteamemo.
How to speak up through social anxiety
To learn how to self-advocate in awkward customer service situations, In The Know by Yahoo spoke to Nauss, who specializes in helping anxious, paranoid and traumatized clients assert themselves and set boundaries.
She recommended the following tips in helping to combat social anxiety as a customer or client:
Make a list ahead of time of exactly what you want so you can hold yourself accountable later. If someone tries to convince you otherwise, hold firm and set a boundary.
Use assertive communication. Your instructions should start with “I want” or “I need.”
If someone makes you uncomfortable, instead of cringing, reassert your agency by using an “I need” statement. This could sound like “I need my nails to look like the picture” or “I need you to finish helping me before you help other customers.”
Have a mantra that you can use to stay strong. Repeat this in your head when you get nervous. It might sound like “I can ask for what I want” or “I deserve to be listened to.”
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