Bride uninvites stepfather from wedding he paid for after ultimatum from brothers

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A bride holds a bouquet of flowers (Getty Images/iStockphoto)
A bride holds a bouquet of flowers (Getty Images/iStockphoto)

A woman has questioned whether she was wrong to uninvite her stepfather from her upcoming wedding – which he paid for – after her brothers said they would not attend if he was there.

The question was posed on Reddit’s IATA (Am I The A**hole) forum in a post which has since received more than 2,000 comments.

The bride-to-be, 25, said her mother is upset that she chose to uninvite her stepfather from her wedding after receiving an ultimatum from her older brothers.

She explained that the siblings went through a “rough time” at the time of their parent’s divorce and that her mother had since remarried.

While the OP (original poster) has a “somewhat stable relationship” with her stepfather due to living with him for longer, her brothers resented him and “limited contact once they moved out [of the family home]”.

She also disclosed that her stepfather had paid for her schooling and was now funding her wedding. “I’m very grateful for that though this was his decision,” she said.

Soon after she sent out invitations to her wedding, she received an ultimatum from her brothers stating that if their stepfather was going to be present, they would not attend.

“I literally freaked out because I definitely want my brothers to be at my wedding so badly and I tried talking to them, but they were being stubborn,” she wrote.

“I had no choice but to politely uninvite my stepdad and send him an email stating why. He didn’t reply but later I got a call from my mom [sic] yelling at me [and] calling me hurtful stuff,” she explained.

Most Reddit users in the comments said they believe the OP’s actions were wrong, and that she should not have rescinded her stepfather’s invitation.

One comment, which received 30,000 upvotes, said her brothers “need to grow up”.

“You describe your stepdad as a nice man. Now you are letting your brothers control who you invite to your wedding,” the user said.

“If your brothers threaten not to come surely that pushes you into a position to not invite them instead? I don’t understand why you are putting your brothers first in this whole situation. Your mother’s words hurt because they are true.”

Another noted that her stepfather’s decision to still pay for the wedding, regardless of the invitation, “shows that he is a decent guy that cares”.

“But seriously, if she cuts him out, she needs to be paying. At this point she’s just using stepdad,” they said.

Some users sympathised with the OP, writing that it was unfair her brothers had put her in a “difficult position”.

“I’m sorry you’re having to worry about all of this on top of trying to have your perfect day,” a third person said.

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