Bright Spot: It's important to learn how to love the sinner
I got so many comments about this article a week ago, I decided to write the sequel. It's like the way movie studios milk a storyline as long as possible.
Hopefully this series won’t be as long as the “Rocky” saga.
Actually, I’m writing on this topic again because the Lord gave me several more points. I wouldn’t be surprised if more are on the way, because my title today is one of the most used, least applied, clichés in Christendom.
Maybe I should say “worst applied.” We don’t seem to know how to love the sinner and hate his sin even though we might want to. When we try, on those rare occasions we work up the courage, we do it poorly. People close up instead of open up to conviction or change. Relationships are ruined. How can they hear less condemnation and more of Christ, who told the woman caught in adultery to “Go and sin no more!” (John 8:11)
By example, Christ showed us …
1. “You can say the hardest things to people if you really love them.” “Love covers a multitude of sins.” (I Peter 4:8) Recently, I shared Jesus with an agnostic. I told him I wouldn’t be talking to him about eternity and lostness if I didn’t love him. He expressed his appreciation, not his rejection.
2. “Build from their strengths, not their shortcomings and sins.” One marriage therapist, Mark Gungor, reports an 80% success rate in healing troubled marriages since he started working from the positives in that marriage instead of the problems. That’s exactly what we’ve been doing in our church’s marriage ministry for 25 years − using the amazing prepare/enrich relationship strength inventory. Dr. John Modechai Gottman, psychologist and researcher, shows it is possible to predict, with 94% accuracy, which marriages will end in failure long before the couples are ready to call it quits. "In couples that stay together, there are about five times more positive things said to and about one another than negative ones." This is also true when it comes to seeing the good in our children, our charges, or those we counsel and coach.
3. “Show sinners the way of life, don’t just tell them.” That’s what King David prayed In Psalm 139:23-24, asking God to “lead him in the way everlasting.” God does this all through the Bible, not just telling us what bad things to stop, but showing us what good to do: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up…” (Ephesians 4:15-29)
4. Get the log out of your own eye first. Then help them (Matthew 7:1-5). Put on your own oxygen mask first or you be no good to others when the plane is going down. Enough said.
5. Believe in them and seek their best. This is how Jesus loves us (agape).
6. Fill in any gaps in what you know with trust, i.e. don’t do a lot of guessing. Go on facts.
Rick Sams is pastor emeritus of Alliance Friends Church.
This article originally appeared on The Alliance Review: Bright Spot: It's important to learn how to love the sinner
