Bright Spot: Sharing with friends a key to a happy lifetime
I almost lost it Oct. 1 when I saw a gigantic poster in a well-known retail store greeting me with “Happy HallowThanksMas!”
I wanted to burn the place down. With love, of course. Are you tired of this kind of commercialism from Oct. 1 through Jan. 1?
But lest I go any farther becoming a grumpy old man, let’s switch subjects to help us have a happier holiday. After all, a recent article told me one of the surest signs I am truly old is if I am griping more.
Here’s the idea, rooted in the research showing Americans are getting lonelier. Most men testify they have no one they could call at 2 a.m. Feel free to call me, and many have tried, but I’ll sleep right through it! If I were you, I’d remove me from your emergency contact list.
The number of Americans who report that they have no close friends has quadrupled since 1990. In our nation’s longest study on happiness, social connections were the biggest factor for a satisfying life. Americans are relationship poor, but materially rich, whereas the two-thirds of the (impoverished) world is quite the opposite.
Loneliness is a phenomenon across the other third of the globe. England has established a government cabinet department called the Ministry of Loneliness. Some elderly folks in Japan have turned to crime so they will have the companionship of a cellmate.
Some enterprising individuals have started businesses that are in essence “Rent A Friend.” Hired by the hour, these “friends” will socialize with you in a public place, talk to you on the phone, or accompany you to an event.
They clearly are not offering seedy “escort services.” Amazingly, the patrons of these entrepreneurs are commonly 30- to 40-year-old professionals who just don’t have the time for friendships, not the elderly.
(Remember the old aspirin commercial: “I don’t have time for a headache!” Who does? Who really has time for friends? You better start due to the health hazards of loneliness. I’ve read many studies show loneliness is as hard on your health as smoking 10 cigarettes a day.
Here are some places to start. Show interest in others, ask questions, and really listen. Volunteer. Volunteers are the engine that drives and helps many organizations survive. They are the original “essential workers.” You’d be amazed at all the places that can put you to work in your wheelhouse, those areas you’re interested and gifted.
God backs these truths up in the Bible. “For whom am I toiling?” the writer of Ecclesiastes inquires painfully. He needs to learn that “If one falls down he needs another to help him up.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12) We need to “bear one another’s burdens and thus fulfill the [love] law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2) “The man who would be a friend must show himself friendly.” (Proverbs 18:24 KJV)
The best way to have friends is to be a friend … which includes not letting your friends burn any stores down.
Rick Sams is pastor emeritus of Alliance Friends Church.
This article originally appeared on The Alliance Review: Bright Spot: Sharing with friends a key to a happy lifetime
