Bright Spot: Time to drop this 'four-letter word'
I frequently say things to make sure the other person in our conversation is really listening, or to let them know I am listening ... and willing to listen longer. There’s no better time than when you ask one of life’s most common questions: “How are you?”
Me: “How are you?”
Them: “I’m OK.”
Me: “Just OK?”
This may or may not lead to fruitful follow-up depending on our relationship and their need to get it off their chest.
Them: “How are you?”
Me: “I feel more like I do now than I ever have before.”
That convoluted answer is famously attributed to President Dwight Eisenhower as he was recovering from his heart attack. It left the usually loquacious reporter stunned and silent.
Them: “How are you?”
Me: “Better than I deserve.” (Stolen from financial guru, Dave Ramsey).
Me: “How are you?”
Them: “Busy!" (... accompanied by their sighs and sadness.)
Have you ever thought what this very common answer to one of our most common questions really communicates? Ponder these thoughts next time you’re tempted to just knee-jerk and say “busy” to the “How are you” question.
“I’m busy, so don’t ask me to listen to your story, your sadness, your sad story, or your ... whatever.”
“I’m busy, so don’t ask me for help ... with anything.”
“I’m busy, so don’t invite me to lunch or to your lame holiday party.”
“Busy” can be a stiff-arm to the face as powerful as a football running back gives his tackler.
“Busy” often says: “Don’t get too chummy or too caring,” whether we want to say that or not.
I think of how often we tell the Lord we’re too busy for Him when He so often just wants to get close. Instead, we shove Him away, like his own people did: “O Jerusalem. How I longed to gather you under my wings as a hen gathers her chicks. But you were not willing.” (Matthew 23:37)
We’re too busy to worship, to pray, to read the Bible, to gather with other Christians when gathering was good enough for Jesus: “He went into the synagogue as was his custom.” (Luke 4:16)
So just think about what you really want to say or mean to say next time the four letter word “busy” pops out of your mouth when you get one of life’s most common questions.
Rick Sams is pastor emetitus of Alliance Friends Church.
This article originally appeared on The Alliance Review: Bright Spot: Time to drop this 'four-letter word'
