Brother refuses to let little sister’s boyfriend use hot sauce on his homecooked meal: ‘It’s impolite’

A dinner guest inadvertently caused a huge family debate when he asked for hot sauce, and Reddit can’t agree on who’s in the wrong.

Posted to the subreddit r/AmITheA**hole (AITA), the post has gained a whopping 16,000 upvotes and nearly 9,000 comments.

As the poster explains, every Sunday his family rotates which relative makes dinner. “With our busy lives, this day is important to us because, besides holidays, we wouldn’t be able to meet up and chat or eat without it,” he writes.

He goes on to explain that his family, being Italian, takes Italian food very seriously. After spending all day making dinner (carbonara, bruschetta and a seafood platter in red sauce), the poster and his family sat down to eat — including his little sister’s boyfriend of three months.

Right away, the boyfriend began “hemming and hawing” about the meal “missing something.”

“He said he needs hot sauce and starts walking to my fridge,” the poster explains. “All I have is Franks and Sriracha. I like hot sauce, too, but I don’t dare mix cuisines like that.”

The poster stopped his sister’s boyfriend and said he’d appreciate it if he enjoyed the meal as-is — but the boyfriend insisted. The poster then tried offering him dried chili flakes, to keep the dish in the same Italian flavor profile, but the boyfriend pushed for sriracha.

When the poster again declined him, the sister’s boyfriend then escalated the situation by going to the store to buy his own bottle of sriracha. “He left, we finished up dinner, and we called it an early night. Everyone is putting their coat and shoes on as he returns, and he’s pissed,” the poster explains.

Now the family is up in arms about the whole situation, and it’s impacting the sister’s relationship with her boyfriend.

“You don’t get to gatekeep how people eat…”

Redditors’ opinions on the situation run the gamut.

Some believe the sister’s boyfriend was in the wrong. One user wrote, “In my country it’s impolite to ask the host for something that isn’t already on the table. And especially trying to take something yourself from their fridge. You eat, if you don’t like it you just say you’re full and you thank them for the meal.”

Others feel the poster was the wrongdoer in the situation. “You don’t get to gatekeep how people eat,” wrote one user. “Even if you don’t agree with it, you don’t decide if he can or can’t put hot sauce on it. Or ketchup on your ribeye steak. Or BBQ sauce on your parmesan chicken. You’re a horrible host.”

However, many people felt everyone involved was in the wrong. “You are an a**hole for refusing to let an adult add condiments to their meal. … Boyfriend’s an a** for escalating his very reasonable request into a show-boating need to go buy his own hot sauce,” one user wrote.

Hopefully the family can find a way to overcome their hot sauce drama before their next Sunday dinner!

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