'Buddy Group' supports youth against bullying
Dec. 6—When Jessica VanDoorn's son started getting bullied, she desperately searched the community for supportive resources.
After two particularly violent encounters, she decided to take matters into her own hands and launched the Buddy Support Group For Youth & Disabled at Tri-Counties Community Center in Marysville. Weekly meetings started in March with just a handful of members and quickly grew to include 45 teens, kids, and disabled adults.
Enticed by comradery, games, pizza, and the promise of a free skate night, many of the group's members make their way to the center by foot or bike from the surrounding neighborhoods of Marysville High School.
"It's a safe space for me," said Bella Steele, one of the group's long-term teenage members. "I come to get my mind off of things."
"It's like the only fun thing for me to do and gets me out of the house," added 11-year-old Russle McKenzie. "And I've learned to not get upset about other people's words."
For David Bahr, one of the group's older teenage volunteers, it's the sense of purpose he gains from helping set up the classroom and he looks forward to meeting with the kids each week.
"I'm usually the first person here every time. ... The food has me first, but I also enjoy how much fun it is," said Bahr.
Meetings typically start at around 5 p.m. on Tuesday nights, opening with a quick check-in session. Volunteers and members take turns introducing themselves and answer a prompt given by VanDoorn. This may include talking about something fun they did over the week, something new they learned, or whatever else they'd like to share. Some kids are eager to speak and others are free to pass if uncomfortable.
"Being given the chance to talk to the whole group helps build their public speaking skills and encourages self confidence," explained VanDoorn. "Of course, we don't force this, it's just an opportunity to be heard."
Following introductions, members hold a moment of silence for a young girl who died at Lindhurst High School on March 30 with bullying cited as one of the potential factors in the girl's death.
"I was just so heartbroken that we lost her just three weeks after we started our group," said VanDoorn. "I didn't know her, but I took it really personally because I had started the group for that main reason and I felt like I didn't reach her in time."
After this brief memorial, members typically start an interactive game such as bingo with prizes and certificates available to local restaurants. Aside from the food and fellowship, members also learn self advocacy skills and are encouraged to reach out to trusted adults when encountering a bully or witnessing hostile behavior toward another, whether in person or online.
Not every youth in attendance has suffered from bullying. In fact, some mentioned that they used to be bullies but wanted to positively improve their social skills. Others considered themselves "allies" or simply wanted a safe place to hang out with peers in the evening.
"My mom has worked really hard on building this up," said Annabella VanDoorn, Jessica VanDoorn's 10-year-old daughter. "I feel more confident in helping kids and I've seen a lot of them get out of depression. I feel like it's helping people get happier and that feels good."
Jessica VanDoorn herself is a caretaker and rancher, managing her father's herd of over 100 cattle. She currently averages $300 a month on funding free skate nights for each Buddy Group member, even with the discounted rate that the center affords her. This doesn't always include the extra snacks, prizes, and additional activities she funds for the children out of pocket. Her hope for the new year is to gain official nonprofit status to streamline donations and open potential grant opportunities. These are both tasks she is seeking help with and is currently welcoming any and all support from the local community.
To contact VanDoorn, call or text 530-599-1374, or email j.v.faith2017@gmail.com. The Tri-Counties Community Center in Marysville is located at 1830 B St. in Marysville, for more information visit tricountiescommunity
