'We build Christmas': Drive benefits children in foster care or whose parents are incarcerated

Dec. 24—In the week leading up to Dec. 25 each year, Tiffany Cianci marshals an army of volunteers.

They spread out across Frederick County under the cover of nightfall. They consult their schedules and their lists. And from 9 p.m. until 4 or 5 in the morning, they deliver gifts.

"We go," Cianci said in an interview Friday afternoon, "and we build Christmas."

Cianci — the owner of Teeter Tots Music n Motion, a children's music studio in the Francis Scott Key Mall — has organized the Christmas Miracles drive since 2017. This year, 137 people will receive gifts through the program, she said. Almost all of them are children in foster care or whose parents are incarcerated.

The mall has provided a "great launch pad" for the drive, Cianci said.

"If you only knew how many businesses in this mall have contributed to delivering these wishes — like, it's almost hard for me to explain," Cianci said. "Almost everybody is matching any donation we bring in."

Toward the beginning of the season, each child fills out a sheet that asks them to list their five greatest needs, their five biggest wants, and their dream wish.

"Sometimes, it's really simple: 'I need a coat, I need boots and I would really like a Roblox gift card,'" Cianci said.

But her voice was choked with emotion as she told stories about the specific children she's serving this year. One is a teenager who has been accepted into five colleges, but didn't have a laptop. Nine people pitched in to get her one.

Another is a boy whose dream wish was to have an autograph from Taylor Heinicke, the Washington Commanders quarterback. Bleacher Bums, a sportswear store in the mall, made it happen.

Cianci was especially moved by a brother and sister who had been separated by the foster care system. The little boy wrote that his greatest wish was "a dad," and the little girl wrote that hers was "a friend."

The little boy will wake up on Christmas morning to a gift certificate for six months of youth jiu jitsu classes at Groundswell MMA, a local martial arts school. The program is staffed with men who will hopefully be able to mentor the boy, Cianci said, and they've agreed to donate all of the gear he will need.

The little girl, who expressed an interest in singing and theater, will be enrolled in a musical theater program with other kids her age. Her classes were donated by Free Range Kids & Teens, another mall storefront.

The mission is a personal one for Cianci, who grew up in a foster home with nearly two dozen other children. Donation drives were often the sole source of her Christmas gifts, she said.

One year in particular stands out in her mind.

That Christmas Eve, a third-grade Cianci and her foster siblings went to sleep in a bare-bones house. They had beds, sheets and toiletries that had been delivered by the Salvation Army, but not much else.

Their home had been destroyed in a fire two months prior. They'd spent weeks in hotels, and by the time they had a home again, the holiday was upon them.

On Christmas morning, Cianci woke up to find a decorated tree had materialized in their living room. Underneath was a pile of gifts that left her stunned.

She can still remember the toys, and her voice broke in an interview Friday as she recounted them. There was a Nintendo. A Barbie Dream House. Things that, even as an 8-year-old, she knew her foster parents could not possibly afford.

"All of us were, like, 'There has to be a Santa,'" Cianci recalls. "'There must be a Santa.'"

Cianci remained in foster care, on and off, until she was 14.

Now, as an adult, she draws upon those memories to help her choose gifts that will be meaningful for children in similar situations.

Razors are one example. As a preteen, Cinaci remembers sitting around a bathtub with eight or nine other children, passing a single blade around until it was dull and giving them cuts. Today, she includes razors in many of the toiletry kits she delivers.

She's recently begun a partnership with the Children of Incarcerated Parents Partnership (COIPP) and the Mental Health Association, which runs a center for incarcerated people to visit with their children.

Those two groups fit seamlessly into Cianci's original goal of aiding foster children. The ultimate goal of the foster care system, Cianci said, is reunifying children with their parents. And often, incarceration is the reason for the initial separation.

Cianci's group will meet with incarcerated parents and help them brainstorm gift ideas for their children.

"We ask them, how do you want to rebuild with your child? What do you know about your child?" Cianci said. "We want them to feel good about going to that visitation with gifts. ... It's really hard to build those bridges if you can't compete [financially] with a foster household."

At the same time, they want to help form connections between foster parents and the children in their care. Cianci will dole out gift certificates for family activities like pottery painting, or pay for a teenage girl and her foster mom to get their hair or nails done together.

"Those small moments can build families," she said.

On Friday afternoon, Cianci and her team were gearing up for their biggest night of the drive. They'd been out delivering all week, but there was still a lot to do.

The recipients know the late-night visits are part of the deal, Cianci said. They get assigned a time slot, they set alarms for 1 or 2 or 3 a.m., and when they rouse, they prepare to greet the volunteers at their doorstep.

"We never ruin the magic," Cianci said.

None of her team has slept nearly enough this week.

But it's worth it, she said.

Follow Jillian Atelsek on Twitter: @jillian_atelsek