Bullying or just 'careless conduct'? NJ teacher publishes a playbook on prevention

Milltown schoolteacher Jennifer Pinnella can pinpoint the moment she was inspired to create a bullying prevention curriculum and eventually write a book about the strategies.

It happened 17 years ago at her first bullying prevention training at the New Jersey Law Center in New Brunswick.

"I just remember it in my mind as being kind of like a moment of clarity. I even had the vision of this book, even at that point,” Pinnella said. “And I knew I wanted to be the bullying prevention specialist for Parkview School. I volunteered happily."

And that led to the December publication of her first book, "This is what to say."

Pinnella has served as Parkview School's anti-bullying specialist since the inception of the state's Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights, Superintendent of Schools Stephanie Brown said.

"Her compassion when investigating misbehaviors connects to her mission to provide her students with the tools to protect themselves from unsafe situations," Brown said. "Mrs. Pinnella and her proactive instruction in this area is one of the reasons why Parkview School was awarded the highest score possible on the state's (Harassment, Intimidation and Bullying) report card."

No school, not even the pre-k-3 Parkview, is immune to bullying, said Pinnella who also teaches music at the school.

"All teachers and all administrations see it. I think society sees bullying and knows it is a problem," Pinnella said. "I have read books and resources on the topic of bullying. And many of the books give me data − a lot of data − about bullying. But no real answers. Not something I could use in my classroom."

A Music Education graduate of Montclair State and Rutgers universities, Pinnella attended the bullying prevention program a year after her return to teaching after seven years at home with her children

"The seed was planted. Sometimes in life, you connect with things, and they produce something. This is one of those things," she said.

That's why Pinnella has written a cookbook of sorts that provides all the ingredients and recipes for educators to create classrooms that mitigate bullying. She has been working on the manuscript since 2006, honing and testing her recipes in the classroom and adapting them to suit the students, grades and the times.

"This is what to say" is a compilation of more than 50 lessons and role plays that Pinnella has developed over the years. She tested all her strategies multiple times, tweaking them until they were ready to be included in the book.

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Pinnella believes her book differs from other "vague" resources because she gets "right to the point."

"It's like a recipe online. I don't have time to read people's history about the recipes; just tell me how to do it. Give me the recipe, give me the instructions, give me the ingredients, and I'm going to run with it," she said. "Teachers don't have the time to read about bullying. We know bullying exists. You don't have to convince us. Just tell me what to do. And let me get to work. The book gives you the recipe on what to do."

She titled it "This is what to say" to let readers know the book's blunt intent.

"It tells the person who is teaching bullying prevention to students what to say. And it also tells the students what to say," Pinnella said.

Both many children and adults don't know how to handle bullying, she said.

"Often, children, they don't know. Adults don't know. There are feelings involved. And sometimes, even with these feelings, a simple example can be a help. To give them the words, when you're confronted with a situation, that this is what to say. And just giving them the words empowers them to deal with the feelings that they're dealing with," Pinnella said.

The book "gives students the words to say and it also gives instructors the words to say. And I think this is what separates this book from others," she said.

But there is leeway, Pinnella said, if the suggested words don't fit an instructor's personality or teaching style.

"Feel free to change it," she said.

It's like changing a recipe to suit individual tastes or needs, she said.

"For example, if I'm looking at a recipe, I have two people in my home that are allergic to dairy. So I might change the recipe; instead of using milk, I'll use dairy-free milk. I can change it, but at least I know the essence of it," Pinnella said. "So I'm giving you the words to begin with, so someone can say, 'I see what you're trying to say. I get it. I see where you're going with this, but this is how I'm going to say it and that's okay.’”

Each lesson in "This is what to say" can be done is about five minutes, Pinnella said. The lessons are broken up by type: Bullying Prevention lessons and role plays; Shared Responsibility lessons and role plays; Conflict Resolution lessons and role plays; Assessments; School Climate insights and Child Safety lessons.

Pinnella said the lessons help teachers and students identify the difference between bullying and "careless conduct."

"By now, I have a pretty good idea of who's bullying and who's just making poor choices," Pinnella said.

Self-published through Amazon, this edition is geared toward grades 1-3. Pinnella hopes to write more on the subject for higher grades, she said.

email: cmakin@gannettnj.com

Cheryl Makin is an award-winning features and education reporter for MyCentralJersey.com, part of the USA Today Network. Contact: Cmakin@gannettnj.com or @CherylMakin. To get unlimited access, please subscribe or activate your digital account today.

This article originally appeared on MyCentralJersey.com: NJ teacher writes bullying prevention book