Butterfly haven a place to be in nature and mourn lost loved ones for these Topeka residents

The life cycle of the butterfly can bring perspective and consolation to those who view the process.

So when Joyce Smith, a resident of Topeka Presbyterian Manor, died suddenly in 2014 after a traffic accident, it seemed fitting to fellow resident Kay Jones to celebrate the life of her friend by creating a memorial butterfly haven.

Losing a friend

Smith, who was originally from Marion, was a great neighbor to have at the manor, her friend said.

"She was very kind," Jones said. "She was very welcoming, especially to new residents moving in, and would go out of her way to speak to people, greet them or comment, 'I love your hair' or 'What a pretty top.'"

Jones said Smith was someone everyone looked forward to seeing because she always had something kind to say.

"And so it just occurred to me that, with butterflies the way they are, they just evolve the way they do," Jones said. "I just thought, 'Well, what if we could have a memorial butterfly garden?'"

Memorial takes flight

Luckily a butterfly haven had just been built by Jones, her family and the manor's maintenance crew in July of the same year. It was based on one that belonged to her daughter.

Jones and the manor reached out to a company that makes nameplates for desks. Plaques could be purchased at a reasonable cost, Jones said.

Smith's name, dates of her birth and death, and a butterfly have been applied to a plaque that now adorns the garden, easily accessible for residents, including those with mobility issues. The memorial has become a popular hangout.

"There's several residents who take a book or their candle or something, and they go out and sit in the shade," said Jones. "They just sit and read. It's just a peaceful place."

More: Joyce Smith obituary, CJOnline

Memorial garden grows

Twenty other residents' names now adorn the garden, and anyone associated with the manor is invited to add a plaque.

Recently, when marketing director Danica Loftin's father passed away, Jones brought her a form to fill out in case Loftin would like to add his name.

"It makes me feel like I am one of the family," Loftin said. "This is my work home."

Loftin also knows of a resident who purchased a plaque for his late granddaughter, who wasn't a resident, but is dear to him.

One plaque memorializes former resident Sue Christensen.

"This lady loved horses, you know, and so hers has a butterfly emblem and then the head of a horse up in the corner, just because that's how will you remember Sue," Jones said.

Viewing butterflies' life cycle

Residents at the manor can view and take solace in looking for the butterflies' tiny eggs, which hatch into caterpillars. The cocoon, or chrysalis stage, is then available for all to see, and it has its own beauty, Jones said.

Finally the butterfly emerges and flies away or stays to feast on the insect-friendly plants, laying more eggs for future butterflies.

More: Understanding butterflies and the purpose of life, CJOnline columnist Connie Mason Michaelis

The life cycle of the butterfly is a symbol of spiritual transformation for many cultures and societies, starting long ago in places like ancient Greece, Minoa and Rome.

Russia, Spain, Sub-Saharan Africa, Ireland and Mexico are present day countries which view the butterfly as a soul. Christianity often uses the butterfly's life cycle as a metaphor for transformation from life, to death to resurrection.

Residents who hold such beliefs can be soothed by the garden, which is under Jones' constant care.

The social butterfly takes charge

Jones takes charge in the garden and the community. One could say she is a social butterfly.

"I call Kay the mayor," Loftin said. "She is the glue that holds the community together. Her heart is really focused on us. She is a leader."

Yet Jones said she receives much in return.

Through the years the manor has provided a much-needed haven for Jones and her husband. Stephen Jones had to be separated from his wife after his health care needs increased. It meant having to adjust, especially when COVID-19 meant she couldn't visit him every day, as is her custom.

"I just remember the day when he told me: 'You know? They take really good care of me here.' It's like: 'Thank you, God. I needed that one.' It was really hard," Kay Jones said.

Now the couple can get together again.

"I feel blessed," Kay Jones said. "We were led to come here to live, and I would highly recommend it to anybody."

Memorial can be emotional for residents

Visiting the haven isn't always easy.

"You just see the name, to have that reminder of the friendship that you shared, once in a while that would be a little hard for me," Jones said, tears in her eyes. "We find friends later in life, and then we lose them.

"But then you know, you have to think how much richer your life has been getting to know them.

"Any number of times I've said to people: 'Oh, I wish I had been your next door neighbor. You'd be so fun to have in our neighborhood.'"

More: Topeka activities highlight monarch butterflies

For guidance on creating a butterfly garden, go to the Shawnee County Master Gardeners' website.

Catheryn Hrenchir is a feature writer for The Topeka-Capital Journal. She can be reached at chrenchir.gannett.com or (785) 817-638.

This article originally appeared on Topeka Capital-Journal: Topeka Presbyterian Manor a haven to butterflies, residents