Céline Dion Movie ‘Love Again’ Will Be the Cinema Event of Year

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This week:

• The end of sex scenes?

• The new movie event of the year.

• Kelly Ripa rises.

• That damned Winnie-the-Pooh movie.

• Sarah Michelle Gellar, iconic as always.

The New Cinema Event of the Year

Now that 80 for Brady has hit theaters, and I have seen it with my own two eyes to confirm that it is, in fact, a real movie, it’s time to obsess over a new film. It’s one that, again, seems to be made entirely for me in ridiculous ways that I never imagined. It is likely going to be dreadful, but I will adore anyway, and—again—it can’t actually be real, can it?

This movie is Love Again.

A trailer for the film just released this week (watch it here), and, in between wondering how I would feel if the outfit I am wearing is the one I’ll have on when one of those UFOs abducts me, it’s all I’ve been thinking about.

It’s a romantic drama that is ripped-off of inspired by You’ve Got Mail with a truly bonkers cast that includes Priyanka Chopra Jonas, Nick Jonas, Outlander’s Sam Heughan, Every Gay Man’s Crush’s Russell Tovey, and…Céline Dion. AS HERSELF!!!

Chopra’s character, Mira, has lost her fiancé, and she self-soothes by texting her feelings to his old phone number. Heughan’s Rob inherits that phone number but continues to read the messages without telling Mira. Eventually, he starts to catch feelings for her, figures out where she’s going to be one night, and asks her on a date. Because Rob already knows so much about Mira, he charms her, while his friends beg him to tell her the truth.

Those friends include the actual Céline Dion, whom he meets through work; she acts as a pseudo-fairy godmother for his love life. FINALLY, movie casting that just makes sense. The trailer hits the dramatic music cue for the start of “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now” at just the right, goofiest time. Dion even seems to be genuinely funny in her few moments in the trailer. (Duh, of course she would be.)

This is high art. It hits theaters on Mother’s Day, a fitting tribute to both your mother and mine, Ms. Céline Dion.

The Ascension of Kelly Ripa

In a shocking announcement this week—it made me pause scrolling through Twitter for three seconds to say, “Oh, hmm…”—Ryan Seacrest revealed he is leaving Live With Kelly and Ryan, with Kelly Ripa’s husband, Mark Consuelos, taking over as her co-host.

Any day in which Kelly Ripa wins is a good day.

That is not a dig at Ripa’s good friend Seacrest, who was a great (if obvious) fit as co-host after the Michael Strahan debacle settled. But the hiring of Consuelos without one of those stunt-y and exhaustive casting searches is welcome news. If you’ve watched the couple whenever Consuelos has guest co-hosted, you know that he and Ripa are great together on camera. (Which isn’t the same as being great together in real life, though, as Ripa has blush-inducingly detailed, that is also the case. Ripa stays winning!)

No one is better at what she does than Ripa. That she makes hosting Live look effortless, earnest, and, most importantly, not annoying is a morning television miracle. ABC should grovel for eternity for the way it treated her following Strahan’s departure. If turning Live into a family affair following Seacrest’s exit is what she wants, then it’s what she’s not only owed—but also deserves.

Given how funny her Instagram post about all of this was, I’m already on board.

What the Hell Even Is This Movie

I had almost forgotten that Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey was a movie that existed because, as a means of self-care, I had banished it from my brain. Because A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh recently became public domain, now anyone can freely adapt the work however they want . The filmmakers behind Blood and Honey decided to turn Pooh and Piglet into grotesque-looking serial killers. I’m still consulting with a team of lawyers to figure out how they can be prosecuted for this. Look at this photo!

That said, the movie, as reviewed by my colleague Nick Schager, is astonishingly bad. (What a surprise!) But this plot description is truly something:

“A shoddily animated prologue explains that, as a boy, Christopher Robin (Nikolai Leon) discovered and befriended magical creatures in nearby Hundred Acre Wood. When he grew up and left for college, Pooh and company suffered through a horrible winter that eventually compelled them to eat one of their own: Eeyore. The ensuing trauma was so severe that it drove Pooh (Craig David Dowsett) and his loyal minion Piglet (Chris Cordell) mad, warping their minds and convincing them to reject their human instincts, including speech. They became marauding beasts with a burning hatred for mankind and, in particular, for Christopher.”

Sarah Michelle Gellar Has the Only Answer

It is the plight today of any actor who has ever been in a popular TV show or movie. They will no longer be able to do an interview for the rest of their career without being asked a) if there would ever be a revival of said popular project and b) if they would want to be a part of it.

There is going to be a new I Know What You Did You Last Summer, and, this week, Sarah Michelle Gellar was asked her thoughts about being a part of it. I’ve never seen someone answer the question so succinctly and so perfectly: “I am dead.”

(Apologies for the spoiler about her IKWYDYLAS character. But I refuse to consider a 26-year-old plot point a spoiler.)

What to watch this week:

Of an Age: A heart-wrenching queer romance that stunned Australian audiences is finally showing stateside. (Now in theaters)

Star Trek: Picard: The whole gang’s back together—as in the Next Generation crew! (Now on Paramount+)

Grey’s Anatomy: It’s Ellen Pompeo’s last episode! Show some respect! (Thurs. on ABC)

What to skip this week:

Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania: Just typing out that title took all the patience I have for this movie. (Now in theaters)Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey: It’s not even fun-bad. It’s just bad-bad! (Now in theaters)

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