How California schools can support and protect our trans and non-binary students | Opinion

Several years ago, I (Corinne), sat with my seven-year-old, Nix, to read a bedtime story, “My Book About Me.” When I opened the book, I discovered that Nix had made an edit: the book now read, “I am a ‘they.’” This is how I learned that my child’s gender identity did not match the gender assigned at birth.

What followed involved a lot of learning and growing on all of our parts, as Nix discovered his new name and correct pronouns (which ended up ultimately being he/him) and as our family learned how to best support him and advocate for his needs.

Our family lived in North Carolina at the time, and the school was, thankfully, generally supportive. But without legal protections, we were wholly reliant on the goodwill of others to protect and support Nix at school. Teachers were not adequately trained to work with non-binary, transgender or gender diverse students or to ensure that Nix was protected from bullying. Other teachers, meanwhile, were flat out uninterested in supporting students like Nix.

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So we moved across the country to Oregon in part to find a place that was ideologically accepting of Nix and that would also have legal protections to ensure that schools had to honor Nix’s identity. However, the celebration of gender diversity by school faculty and staff in Oregon didn’t stop the challenge of intense bullying. This led to mental health challenges and, eventually, a transfer to a new school.

School districts and trans, non-binary and gender diverse students

Nix’s story is an unfortunately typical one, and it’s also one that has impacted us both (co-author Corinne Hyde is Nix’s mother, while co-author Theo Burnes has worked with many transgender, nonbinary and gender-diverse students in professional practice as a psychologist).

Over and over again, both of us have wrestled with ways to keep non-binary students safe and thriving. As more school districts begin to take matters into their own hands, six school districts in California have adopted trans and gender-diverse student parental notification policies (at the time of this writing, Chino Valley Unified School District’s policy adoption was blocked by a superior court judge).

These parental notification policies would also mandate that school principals be informed if a student reports of gender dysphoria or discomfort that many trans and gender diverse people experience.

In addition, district officials would be required to tell school principals or counselors if a student makes any attempt or threat of suicide. A school leader would then seek out health care services for the student, ensure that they are supervised until their parents, guardians or another support agency intervenes and notify emergency assistance — such as law enforcement — if necessary.

Let students explore their gender identities at school

Are these parental notification policies a bad idea? The adoption of these policies follows a large wave of anti-trans and gender diverse legislation.

One reason why trans and gender diverse youth may not explore their identities around family members is because they may not feel safe and fear rejection and discrimination. Many parents want to know “before anyone else,” but have they demonstrated an atmosphere of support and understanding to support that request?

Although family support is a crucial component of trans and gender diverse youth’s identity development and transition process, we are reminded of the key word “support,” which is not the same as “knowledge”; if a youth is unsure about family support, should they not be able to initially go to school and find support?

If the rationale for these policies is to support students of all genders, we are failing our goals. Trans and gender diverse youth may feel more comfortable exploring their gender identity among their peers at school, as adolescent development research indicates that youth often engage in their identity exploration among peer groups before they explore with their family.

When we use the Informed Consent for Access to Trans Health Care model that follows the lead of the child, we find young people who are happier and report less psychological symptoms. Support for social transition (such as trying different names or pronouns) within a school setting is within the scope of social and emotional support. But school personnel discouraging transition without prior parental consent in every case could lead to harm.

Decision-making shouldn’t be in the hands of school personnel

Putting decision-making solely in the hands of school personnel is dangerous. Early career teachers may not know if trans and gender diverse students are safe at home. Many early career teachers, counselors and administrators are telling us that they are navigating an impossible situation. They want to support trans and gender diverse students, but they also have to follow the leadership of their guiding teacher and district policies. Choosing to support trans and gender diverse students could result in them losing a placement or not being offered a job in a district that is not supportive of these students.

As anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ+ legislation continues to rise, it is imperative that we center young people in conversations about school district policies. As they develop a sense of self and navigate challenges, the need for schools and families to center student well-being becomes even more critical than centering our own discomfort.

Nix’s story is not unique: Trans and gender-diverse students and their families are balancing a variety of challenges. While the schools in Oregon are more accepting of these students than other places in the U.S. and the larger world, going to school as a trans or gender diverse kid isn’t easy. For Nix, balancing academics, volatile middle grades friendships (and friends’ less-than-accepting parents) and the general roller-coaster of life has resulted in a difficult school year so far. Perhaps online school will be the answer, or at least a break from the daily transphobia from peers. But that’s a temporary fix, and not ideal.

Nix should be able to go to school in person and receive the same high quality education as his peers, without experiencing daily transphobia and without being concerned for his physical safety. Nix does an excellent job of advocating for himself, but Nix and kids like him need adults to advocate on their behalf. Every student deserves an equitable, safe and inclusive school environment regardless of gender.

Theo Burnes and Corinne Hyde are professors of clinical education at USC Rossier School of Education.