Calling all cops! Your food isn't being poisoned by anyone, despite your claims

Some good news, finally, for cops: you can go back to eating at Shake Shack without worry.

Last week, after drinking some weird tasting shakes, three New York officers alleged they had been poisoned with bleach. The claims were formally investigated and quickly dismissed by the NYPD’s own chief of detectives after video footage showed that the drinks had not been tampered with by employees. Subsequent New York Post reporting has shown the officers checked into the hospital even though they weren’t sick and, importantly, that Shake Shack could not have known they were cops because they pre-ordered through the Shake Shack app.

Before the investigation into the alleged poisoning was concluded the New York police union issued a lengthy statement condemning how persecuted cops are in America. The Police Benevolent Association of the City of New York (NYCPBA) put out a statement on twitter: “Three of our brothers in blue were intentionally poisoned … under attack by vicious criminals who dislike us simply because of the uniform we wear,” it said, in a since deleted tweet. That an ongoing investigation had not yet been concluded also didn’t stop Don Jr’s rallying cry to his 5.2 million followers, asking for a pile on in honor of the wronged cops (also since deleted) – nor did it stop the officers from taking free food and drink vouchers from the Shake Shack in question.

After a number of incidents in the last couple years – including a cop claiming McDonalds staff took a bite out of his McChicken sandwich, then being placed on administrative leave after remembering it was he who bit it; and the Kansas officer who resigned after writing “Pig” on his own coffee cup and blaming it on McDonalds staff – people might reasonably have suspicions and want to wait for a verdict to be reached before concluding that cops have it hard in America. But, nope.

Just yesterday, the LA police union jumped the gun, after an off-duty, plain clothes LA cop allegedly found a tampon in his frappucino. Many of us who have used tampons have already concluded that whilst disgusting looking, whatever was in that drink doesn’t look like any tampon we’ve ever seen (in fact, a very serious investigation by Jezebel yesterday also raises the eyebrow on this one).

But it doesn’t matter what the investigation finds, the LA Police Protective League has already condemned it as a “disgusting assault on a police officer was carried out by someone with hatred in their heart and who lacks human decency,” calling for employees to be sacked, in a statement to Fox News. Since that statement was released, a representative from the Target in which the Starbucks has reviewed its CCTV footage, finding no wrongdoing, and shared it with the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

But the cycle has already begun. Whenever these claims are made, they are given ample time across Fox News; and shared by right-wing pundits like Sean Hannity and Tomi Lahren, who continue to repeat them after they have been shown to be false, without issuing corrections. Even yesterday, in Fox News’ reporting on tampon-gate, the since-debunked bleach poisoning claims were reiterated. Meanwhile, the officers who shot Breonna Taylor have still not been charged, and police unions are yet to jump to any conclusions about that.

But sure, it sounds tough to be a police officer in America in the current climate. If you don’t agree, just look at this video of an officer crying after she didn’t receive her McMuffin on time last week.