Have you ever wondered about all the wild conversations bartenders must overhear while behind the bar?
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Well, Reddit user u/Steelerfan345 posted in r/AskReddit, "Bartenders of Reddit, what is the strangest conversation you've ever overheard because people assume sound doesn't travel over the bar?" Here are some of the responses.
1."I work in a downtown hotel bar right across from our convention center. I’ve heard way too many negotiations between businessmen and sex workers. The last one I heard involved the guy asking the woman how much extra she'd charge to let his friend watch. (She said it was $200 to watch, $500 if he joins in.)"
2."I listened to tons of people telling their significant others that they were 'working late.' One guy even met a date later."
3."I overheard a woman planning her dog’s birthday party and debating which dogs to invite, since some of the dogs didn’t get along with her dog."
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4."I overheard a couple of guys plan how to rob me. I waved the bouncer over and they left. I'm not sure if they were serious or if it was a hypothetical conversation."
5."A woman at a corporate event was explaining to three male coworkers how she loves the thrill attained from coke being snorted off her ass."
6."These siblings (ages 50s–60s) arguing over their (not even dead and, in fact, present at the table) mother’s will and who gets what. It ended in a heated argument and the son speeding off."
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7."I used to bartend for a local club. There, I overheard a husband telling his wife that he was gay AND he was sleeping with her brother. The wife, obviously devastated, threw her drink at him and left."
8."I heard three women talking about some guy one of them was hooking up with. Apparently, the night before, the woman had puked all over his parts. They still had sex. I got ALL the details I never wanted."
9."On Valentine's Day this year, we had a guest who accepted a FaceTime from his girlfriend while his side chick was with him at the bar. He angled the phone so his girlfriend wouldn't see the woman, but it was so obvious."
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10."I listened to a couple have a very intense, whispered argument about custody. I assumed a kid. Turned out to be a cat."
11."I once listened to three people have an in-depth discussion about how they were going to kill the 'local vampire,' and the steps to take to protect themselves from the coven that said vampire was surely from."
12."These three middle-aged women (alone at the bar) were discussing — in excruciating detail — their sexual fantasies, which centered on hooking up with younger men. I was 22 at the time. They obviously knew I could hear them, but it was so awkward. I stood there cutting the hell out of lemons and limes."
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13."I work in a hotel bar. There's a couple who come in every Monday. The kicker is that they're not married to each other: The woman got drunk and asked the guy if he thought about her when he had sex with his wife."
14."Once, this older couple (mid-50s) were talking about their 'bedroom problems.' The guy clearly had impotence issues, and the lady kept complaining that she was feeling frustrated because he was frustrated. And Viagra wasn't really helping, or at least not helping enough. Let's just say that other people around them weren't as comfortable as they were about the conversation."
15."Years ago, I had someone yell 'RIP, Olivia Newton-John!' and I interjected that she wasn’t dead (at the time). Big mistake. The guy got on one of those drunk loops about how I was wrong until we closed 20 minutes later. I even showed him on my phone that she wasn’t dead, and he said, 'You can google anything.'"
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16."I bartended at a country club, and there was this one group of tennis ladies who would always sit at the bar and get absolutely wasted on weeknights at our wine nights. They took a liking to our main bartender and would try to talk to him about their favorite sex positions and how awful their husbands were, and they'd slip him their numbers. They gave me death glares every time I’d be bartending with him."
17."I've heard debates over whether or not my boobs were real."
18."I overheard two businessmen having after-work drinks on a Friday, where the conversation built up to one of the sweetest sentiments I've heard. At first the usual, 'Lemme tell ya, you're a good person. I love you, man!' Later on (still fairly basic): 'You and me, we buy motorcycles!' To, finally, this gem: 'If a tornado were to blow you away, I would fly after you.'"
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And finally (and unfortunately), this:
19."Even though we were busy, I clearly heard a woman say to her friend, 'Hey, look, the bartender's really cute!' Friend: 'No, he's not!' Response: 'Oh yeah, you're right.'"
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.