The campaign ads are vicious, but do midterm candidates really hate each other?

If you can't say something nice, then take out a political ad.

That's the vibe most voters get during election season as their televisions, radios, newspapers, social media and mailboxes are overrun with campaign commercials and other advertisements from politicians vilifying their opponents. Many of these negative ads are misleading, and often distort or take out of context comments, actions or positions taken by a particular candidate. Worst of all, they leave voters exhausted and disillusioned with their choices, which, as politics columnist Dan Sewell said, can leave them "holding their noses when they cast their ballots."

In these polarizing times, it's important to take a step back and clear the negativity from the air. To remind ourselves that just because candidates might be on opposite sides of an issue and of a different party, they are still human beings and not the embodiment of everything evil in the world, as our tribal politics would sometimes have us believe.

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To me, one of the greatest moments of statesmanship in the past 20 years came in 2008 when Republican presidential candidate and Sen. John McCain of Arizona defended his Democratic opponent and then-Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois from an untruth during a town hall event in Lakeville, Minnesota. A constituent stood up and told McCain that she couldn't trust Obama and called him "an Arab," playing into the conspiracy movement of the time claiming that Obama was not a natural-born American citizen. But McCain rejected the woman's attack on his opponent outright.

"No ma'am, he's a decent, family man, citizen, that I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues, and that's what this campaign is all about," McCain said to applause.

I wanted to find out if Greater Cincinnati politicians could play nice in the sandbox as McCain did. If I asked those running for federal, state and local offices to say something nice or positive about their opponents, what might they say? Would they say anything at all?

So I called, emailed and texted as many candidates as I could, especially those in heated and contentious races, to get their responses. No one had a McCain moment, but all offered something positive about their opponents. The niceties came easier to some candidates than others, and most kept their responses brief. If there was an overriding theme, it was each candidate's respect for their opponent's commitment to family while also trying to serve their community/country.

J.D. Vance, Tim Ryan lob sharp attacks – on debate stage

There was no shortage of barbs and sharp attacks lobbed during the first public debate between Democrat Tim Ryan and Republican J.D. Vance on Monday. The two are locked in a hotly contested race for the U.S. Senate that polls show is neck-and-neck as early voting begins. And while voters didn't get to hear it from the debate podium, the two men said they respect each other's commitment to family and service.

“I admire Tim Ryan’s commitment to his family. It’s clear that he always puts his wife and kids first," Vance said.

Despite referring to Vance as an "a-- kisser" of former President Donald Trump multiple times during the debate, Ryan said he was "grateful for J.D.'s service to our country as a U.S. Marine."

Ohio Gov. Mike DeWine and former Dayton Mayor Nan Whaley have proved they can be collegial, as the two worked together in the aftermath of a tragic mass shooting in Dayton in 2019 that left 10 people dead. While locked in a battle to be the state's next governor, Whaley said she appreciates DeWine as a family man.

"Governor DeWine cares deeply about his family and has always put them first," she said.

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DeWine highlighted his interactions with Whaley during the COVID-19 pandemic, and her care for those she served while mayor.

"During the pandemic, when I held press conferences, which were often daily, I would call all of Ohio's big city mayors, including Mayor Whaley. I found that Mayor Whaley was concerned about people's lives and well-being," DeWine said. "She was very candid in describing what she needed from us, and we always tried to deliver on that for her."

In the race for Ohio's 1st Congressional District seat, Republican Congressman Steve Chabot has developed somewhat of a reputation for negative campaigning. His opponent, Democrat Greg Landsman, has been on the receiving end of more than a few commercials painting him as a corrupt extremist who is anti-police and a tax-and-spend puppet of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.

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Being characterized that way probably hasn't engendered many warm feelings toward Chabot. Still, Landsman offered this: "I know firsthand how hard it can be to raise a family and serve in public life. While we disagree on many issues, the congressman has managed to balance a public career with raising his family. That merits respect."

Got any other good things to say about your opponent, Mr. Landsman?

"We're both bald," he quipped.

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Aside from being follicly challenged family men, Chabot shared something else he has in common with Landsman.

"I respect that Mr. Landsman was a teacher. As a former teacher myself, I know both how demanding and how important that job can be. So, he, and all our dedicated teachers, deserve our gratitude for the time and hard work they've committed to our nation's children."

Local races less contentious than national ones

Candidates in county races were more amenable to saying something positive about their opponent (local races tend to not be as contentious as national ones), though some used an economy of words.

In the three-way race for a seat on the Hamilton County Commission, Christopher Smitherman, an independent candidate, said he respected his Republican opponent Matt O'Neill for being a small business owner, and Democrat and incumbent Commissioner Stephanie Summerow Dumas because she "has committed her adult life to service."

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Dumas said Smitherman "seems to be committed to his children," and O'Neill is "making the race interesting. Competition is always a good thing."

O'Neill said he can see how Dumas' background as a social worker shows up in her work as a county commissioner. "She is very concerned about the well-being of the citizens and health of the community," he said.

As for Smitherman, O'Neill said he was moved by his passion for his family. "He mentions his kids in every campaign speech. You can tell that's how important his family is to him. He's a wonderful parent to his children and a loving father."

Meanwhile, Steve Goodin and Pavan Parikh, who are competing for the Hamilton County clerk of courts job, describe themselves as friends.

"We met because of mutual friends from our time in the Army," Parikh said. "He's a good man and a good dad. I appreciate his passion for our community."

Goodin said he had a high personal regard for Parikh, particularly as a father.

"I wish my kids were as well-behaved as his seem to be," Goodin said with a laugh. "He really seems to put in time with the family. I've seen where he's taken time off the campaign trail to deal with family matters, and that's a very good thing."

Civility appeals to voters

Tom Brinkman, the Republican candidate for Hamilton County auditor, said he doesn't look at his Democratic challenger Brigid Kelly as "the enemy."

"She's my opponent, but that's all. I get along with Brigid well," Brinkman said. He noted that Kelly and his wife have bonded as they both are dealing with health challenges.

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"My wife and her have sent cards back and forth between each other. My wife and I pray for her in what she's going through and I know she's been pulling for my wife in what she's going through."

Kelly referred to herself and Brinkman as "unlikely friends." She said they don't agree on much but have always been able to have frank and honest conversations with each other, which has helped to build their relationship despite differing world views. Kelly said that type of connection matters and impacts how a person conducts his or herself in a campaign.

"It makes it more civil, which makes it more appealing to people who are turned off by elections," Kelly said. "One thing I can say about Tom is you always know where he stands on things, right, wrong or indifferent."

Kelly added: "A functional government is good for everybody. It's something we all should aspire to."

Brinkman acknowledged that it can be hard to say positive things about an opponent sometimes because "there are individuals in elected office, on both sides of the aisle, who are very hard to get along with. They don't have good intentions."

But the majority of officeholders, Brinkman said, are good people with good intentions who don't regard their opponents as "evil."

"We get stuck in this us-against-them," he said. "There are some people who are not good people in politics, but the vast majority are people just trying to do what they think the office calls for. I don't think that makes them bad."

Goodin sees things similarly.

"People lose track of our common humanity," Goodin said. "They forget that there are actual people on the other side of these political arguments."

Human decency is something Parikh doesn't ever want to overlook, even when he's in campaign mode. He said he wishes Goodin well in everything he does − except this election, of course.

"Obviously, I don't want him to take my job," Parikh said with a laugh. "We can pick up our friendship where we left off after the election."

Wouldn't it be great if everyone – politicians and voters alike – could do the same?

Kevin S. Aldridge is the Opinion and Engagement editor for the The Enquirer, where this column originally appeared. Follow him on Twitter: @kevaldrid

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This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: Ohio midterm elections 2022 candidates: Do they hate each other?