Candace Bushnell Reveals Why You Should Treat Your Career Like a Relationship

Welcome to E!'s Tales From the Top, our series on women who are leaders in their fields and masters of their craft. Spanning industries and experiences, these powerhouse women answer all the questions you've ever had about how they got to where they are today—and what they overcame to get there. Read along as they bring their resumés to life.

From a young age, writer Candace Bushnell knew New York was destined to be her one great love. (And, no, she will not have anybody talking s--t about her boyfriend.)

Growing up some two hours outside Manhattan in Glastonbury, Conn., Bushnell wasn't quite close enough to frequent the city "and I didn't really know anything about New York," the journalist-turned-novelist-turned television producer told E! News. But she'd decided at the age of 8 she was going to be a writer and "I just knew that that was where the writers live. It was Louise Fitzhugh, who wrote Harriet the Spy—that was a big inspiration—and Eloise. I had this dream of moving to New York and then I just decided to do it."

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At 19, having skipped out on her college plans, "I knew I had to make it really, really quickly or my parents were going to yank me back," she detailed. "I was scared, but I was also determined."

So, as she shared in her recent one-woman off-Broadway show Is There Still Sex In The City?, "I just went up to people and said, 'I'm a writer. Can you hire me?'" Months in, she published her first piece: "I think I had $50."

The 63-year-old hasn't stopped hustling since, moving deftly from that first newspaper gig to her infamous New York Observer column that inspired her 1996 anthology Sex and the City and the beloved HBO series of the same name. Her resume also includes several more novels (including her most recent, 2020's Rules for Being a Girl), a couple TV series—Lipstick Jungle and The Carrie Diaries—countless magazine pieces, her one-woman show and other gigs like a recent role helping Match users find love during peak dating season.

But her greatest accomplishment remains following through on that childhood dream. "You can put in the work and you know what, you may not be rewarded for it," she acknowledged. "So you really need to love to do the work. You know, I love writing and I love creating. That's why I do it. Everything else is really kind of a bonus."

Still, we couldn't help but wonder how she pieced together her four-decade career. Spoiler: It involves making the biggest commitment of all—to yourself.

E! News: Take us back to those first few months in New York City.

Candace Bushnell: When you're 19, I think that, like, biologically, that's the time when you were supposed to leave home and strike out on your own. I was scared because New York was really scary. But I also felt really invincible. When I look back now I think, "Oh my god, I was crazy." I had a lot of courage and I was really, really determined to make it, but it was hard. It was really hard to find an apartment. It was really hard to find a job.

E!: So how did you do it?

CB: I met somebody who had a newspaper, Night Magazine, and I said I want to write for you and I started writing. I did celebrity interviews, I wrote a lot of stuff about fashion nightlife, I interviewed designers and artists. And I was always writing stories and sending them out to publishing houses. I wrote a little children's book. It was a picture book. It was like Track the Bear, instead of Pat the Bunny. I got paid $1,000, which was a lot of money.

E!: Would you say were you a "Don't take no for an answer" type?

CB: You know, a lot of people said no. So many people say no, you have to figure out how to go around the "No." There were so many roadblocks that I feel like half of my career was figuring out how to get around the nos. If somebody said no, I would say, "Well, I'm going to write this anyway, I'm going to show it to you and I'm going to prove to you that I can."

E!: How did you land your New York Observer column?

CB: That was always my dream since the mid 80s. I wanted to write a monthly column or a weekly column that was a continuous story. I would tell people, "I want my own column," and all these guys would laugh at me. And finally at The New York Observer, it's like, I pushed my way in there. I pitched the piece, I delivered the piece. It landed. It was a huge piece for them, they loved it. And then I kept pitching more pieces.

If you're a woman you have to show the work and your work has to sell, then they give you the opportunity. My own column was something I was actively pursuing. Finally the editor in chief of The New York Observer put it together and was like, "Maybe we should give you your own column." And I knew that that was my big break. The fact that I was writing for a publication that was male-oriented made my work more valuable, even though it was really similar to what I was doing for women's magazines. Nobody took the road for women's magazines seriously, although a lot of those women were really good writers. So, a big part of my journey has been overcoming sexism.

E!: How did that translate into your work in television?

CB: People are always like, "God, why didn't you make all this money from Sex and the City?" "Well, they didn't cut me in on the deal." "Well, why didn't you say no?" "Well, I did." And what they tell you is, "Shut up and take the deal, you're lucky to get anything." So that's the conversation, there isn't a lot you can do about it.

E! What do you think it would take for that to change?

CB: It would take women getting in charge and cutting each other in on the deal.

E!: Well, here you are making your own deals. What was it like shifting gears into performing in your one-woman show?

CB: I was in a couple of school plays and I always really liked it. I really thought more about being a playwright, which would have been an almost impossible career to pursue as there are almost no female playwrights even now on Broadway or off-Broadway. There are very, very few. So, for me, this is an incredible opportunity as a playwright and I plan to do more in the theater.

E! News: What was the experience like for you?

CB: It's exciting. I love interacting with the audience. And it's also a little bit more like being an athlete. It's very physical. I have to wear these rigged-up Spanx with battery packs, and it's all kinds of things that you would never imagine. It's those kinds of things that are part of being an actor that we don't think about.

E!: Was it scary having to carry the entire show by yourself?

CB: You know, it's not. I think that if it were scary, I wouldn't do it. It's great to be able to do something different in your life. You know, that's the experience of so many women in their late 50s and 60s. There's something that they always want to do or they have an opportunity and they take it. Whereas when I was younger, I had a lot of self-doubts and "Oh, I shouldn't do this." And then when you get older you're like, "F--k it, I'm doing it."

E!: That's pretty solid advice: F--k it, I'm doing it. What other key guidance would you want to impart on younger generations?

CB: You know, I've been saying this for years: Your career is a relationship you have with yourself. There are ups and downs and it's a commitment. It's just like every relationship. It's about making a commitment. Now, not everybody wants to make a commitment to their career, and that's fine. But that's really what it's about.