Candlelight vigil for Bryce Gowdy provides ‘a kick-start into healing’

The ceremony ended, and hundreds of mourners made their way from the bleachers at Deerfield Beach High School’s football stadium to the field.

Candles and cellphones from family and friends, teammates and classmates, teachers and administrators, close friends and complete strangers illuminated from a circle at the 50-yard line Thursday night to celebrate the life of Bryce Gowdy, the 17-year-old football player who died Monday just weeks after signing a full athletic scholarship to Georgia Tech.

He is remembered as an honor student, a selfless teammate and a budding football star.

But internally, he had been dealing with mental-health issues amplified by the strain of his family’s financial hardships and recent homelessness, his mother revealed earlier this week.

Gowdy’s body was found by the train tracks near Deerfield Beach around 4 a.m. Monday, hours after his family checked into a hotel on Sunday night. His death was ruled a suicide by the medical examiner Tuesday.

Before they lit candles, Deerfield Beach football coach Jevon Glenn made a simple reminder that how his life ended does not — and should not — define Gowdy.

“I was worried that because of the way it happened, the way that he died, people would circumnavigate that those things weren’t true about him,” Glenn said. “Despite the way that he did die, he was all of those things. The way I look at it, he wasn’t able to be that strong for one minute or however many seconds that it took for him to make that decision.”

Thursday’s vigil provided one of the first steps for his family, his teammates and his community to find closure.

“It’s a night for us to get a kick-start into healing,” Glenn said.

His final days

Gowdy’s mother Shibbon Winelle sat in front on the field, wearing his black No. 7 Deerfield Beach football jersey. Her two younger sons sat flanked to either side as she tried to remain stoic.

A couple of days earlier, Winelle did her best to put Gowdy’s final days into words and provide insight into what he was going through.

In a video posted to her Facebook page on Tuesday, she talked with tears rolling down her cheek about her oldest son’s troubles. How he was “talking in circles” and asking “a lot of questions about spirituality and life.” How he wanted assurances that she and his brothers would be OK once he enrolled at Georgia Tech, which he was set to do next week.

In one sense, Winelle said in the video, Gowdy was happy. He talked about the positives in his life and his chance to get a college degree while still playing football. His last post on Twitter, sent at 8:13 p.m. Sunday, was of him wearing a Georgia Tech jersey with his family surrounding him.

But, Winelle said, both she and her son were dealing with their own personal “demons.”

Gowdy’s personality change manifested itself more than ever during his last three days. Winelle said he kept referencing “not being trapped by doors and mirrors.”

“He kept talking about the signs and the symbols that he was seeing all over the place,” Winelle said, “and that he could see the world for what it really was.”

Winelle, meanwhile, said in the video she had been seeking help for herself for months and was working a job that wasn’t paying her on time or in full. She was stressed trying to figure out how to make ends meet and make sure her three children were OK. She developed chest pains.

“I told him, ‘Bryce, you have to dig within and fight these demons that you’re fighting,’ ” she said to the camera. “I told him I wasn’t strong enough to help him right now, and I have my own demons that I was trying to fight.”

On Sunday night, when they arrived at the hotel, Winelle stayed in the car while Gowdy and her other older son went into the room. Gowdy came back to the car to sit with her.

Winelle said she told Gowdy he needed to “get it together,” “toughen up” and “get his mind right.” Gowdy tried to hold his mom’s hand. She pulled away.

“His energy was so intense,” Winelle said. “I could feel the pain in his soul, and it was breaking my heart.”

Later that night, Winelle asked Gowdy if he could get her favorite blanket from the car. Gowdy went, leaving his phone, wallet and shoes behind.

Twenty minutes later, he hadn’t returned but the blanket was gone from the car.

“In that moment,” she said, “I knew something was wrong with my baby.”

‘This is our sign’

The tears came soon enough as Glenn and Deerfield Beach High principal Jon Marlow spoke of the impact her son had on their lives.

Glenn, the football coach, spoke of more than just Bryce Gowdy the football player, although he was a pretty good football player. He was ranked as the 54th-best player in the state of Florida for this year’s recruiting cycle. He had offers to play college football at more than two dozen schools.

Glenn instead wanted to shine light on the International Baccalaureate student, the senior who was near the top of his graduating class and who finished high school a semester early.

“He was a four-star athlete,” Glenn said, “but he was a five-star student.”

Marlow, who has been the principal at Deerfield Beach for 13 years, added to that, describing Gowdy’s joyous personality and ability to light up a room and hold a conversation with whoever he met.

“He was a young man who I personally looked at as my own son,” Marlow said. “When I look around the stadium here, I think he had that impact with everyone around.

“It’s unfortunate that these things happen. It’s certainly one of the most unfortunate things, but as a community, we rally around each other. ... We’re going to remember Bryce. We’re going to make his memory live.”

After about 35 minutes of memories, prayer and a reminder to remain united as a community, they took to the field.

“This is our sign,” Glenn said as the candles and lights were held to the sky. “We love you Bryce. Your memory will live on forever through us.”

The support has extended beyond the ceremony.

A GoFundMe page created Monday to help Gowdy’s family has already received more than $95,000 in donations as of Thursday night.

There’s help available for those in need. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline phone number is 1-800-273-8255.