Celia Rivenbark: Are you smarter than an eighth-grader? You should be to run for office.

Quit picking on U.S. eighth-graders for having the lowest scores in history and civics ever. Give ‘em a break. Heck, some of them are working late nights at McDonald’s in Kentucky WITH THEIR YOUNGER SIBLINGS.

The recent handwringing about how little eighth-graders know about history and civics is understandable, but the kids still have time to right the ship.

It’s the grownups who run for office with no apparent understanding of the U.S. Constitution I’m worried about. I think we should demand every person running for office, from school board to the White House, be required to pass the same test administered to the eighth-graders.

(Fun fact: I took the 5-question mini-test and missed one, which means I’m 80 percent qualified to hold office. Frankly, I think you people deserve better than a B minus so I’m not measuring the drapes in the Oval. All y’all say “Whew!”)

Marjorie Taylor Nutjob sits in Congress suggesting it’s time for a “national divorce that separates blue states from red ones.” This is what happens when you don’t pay attention in history class. You say dumb stuff like that. Does she want border guards? How much is that going to cost? What if you live in a “purple” state that is transitioning from blue to red or red to blue? Which bathroom should those states use?

Anyone shocked by the news only 13 percent of public school eighth-graders are proficient in U.S. history shouldn’t be. Same with civics. U.S. classrooms have been pushing social studies into a dusty corner of the cafeteria for years. One Arkansas teacher told The New York Times her students only study social studies for 30 minutes twice a week. OK, so that’s…carry the 1…hmmm…just ONE HOUR a week!

You can see what a bad idea it is to ignore social studies when you see those funny man-on-the-street interviews on late-night shows.

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“What’s the largest country in South America?” Africa.

“What’s the significance of Jan. 6?” Election Day?

“Name some U.S. presidents.” Grover Washington?

With reduced classroom time on social studies and civics, things will only get worse. As much as I resisted memorizing the Preamble to the Constitution—and then being one of 30 students standing up and reciting it til we all wanted to overthrow something—I suppose it had a point.

Turns out memorizing state capitals is also useful. Witness the young man living in California who told the on-street interviewer he had no idea what the capital of his own state was. Duh. It’s Montpelier.

The rote memorizing some of us remember may not have been as silly as I thought. But with Google just a second away, modern educators understandably emphasize critical thinking skills, which is great except there isn’t the background knowledge that came with memorizing stuff. It sticks, too. I can still recite the Preamble but have no idea where I parked my car at the mall.

Once I had to get the mall cop to ride me around in his little golf cart til we could find it.

“Where did you last see your car?” he asked jovially.

“…in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility…”

Useless. But not really, right?

Having a basic knowledge of history and civics is needed more than ever when there’s so much misinformation on the internet. Like how some of y’all actually believed the capital of California was Montpelier.

It’s why, as The New York Times reported, a TikTok campaign opposing drilling in Alaska led to a petition asking Biden not to “sell Alaska.” Which, of course, would be ridiculous. Presidents can’t sell states or surely Biden would’ve sold Florida by now.

To recap: Little kids shouldn’t work at McDonald’s; social studies and civics make you a better citizen; and, seriously, where did I put my car?

Celia Rivenbark is a NYT-bestselling author and columnist. Write her at celiarivenbark@gmail.com. 

This article originally appeared on Wilmington StarNews: Celia Rivenbark: Are you smarter than an eighth-grader?