Ceremony at Clayton's park raises awareness of military veteran suicides

CLAYTON — As the sun set Friday, several military veterans and their friends and family gathered at the Clayton Village Park for the culmination of a monthlong observance of the tragedy of veteran suicides.

Each day in September, 22 small American flags, each lit by a solar-powered light, were placed in a grid in the lawn just beyond the park’s basketball court, signifying the widely reported number of 22 veteran deaths by suicide each day. On Fridays, there would be a cookout for veterans and their supporters. This last Friday of the month included a brief ceremony to honor those who came home from their military service but took their own lives and to burn the flags which had been set in the lawn.

Erika Behm, the veteran navigator who serves Lenawee County through the Community Mental Health Partnership of Southeast Michigan, coordinated the program with Denyelle Grubbs of Clayton. Behm said she finds much of her work in Lenawee County focused on suicide prevention because the county does not have inpatient care for mental health or substance use. Her job, which also takes her to Monroe, Washtenaw and Livingston counties, is to connect veterans with services beyond those offered by Veterans Affairs.

Since September is Suicide Prevention Month, it seemed fitting to have this program during the month. Grubbs said the idea for having gatherings for veterans around a campfire came during a conversation while sitting around a fire.

“I wanted to do what I can do,” Grubbs said, explaining how doing something like putting out all of the flags and lights that people can see would leave an impression on others. “You can say numbers. … This is visual. Once you can see that, that makes an impact.”

Grubbs said her brother served in the Navy and a grandfather served in the Army.

Behm worked with Warriors and Caregivers United to put on the cookouts.

During Friday’s ceremony, a letter written by a Marine who served in Vietnam in 1967 was read. In it, he describes the effects of combat beyond the physical wounds.

“Most of us have some sort of disorders,” he wrote. “Many times I’ve seen friends shot up, blown up, killed day or night. When this happens, it does something to your mind. Your never forget the tears, blood, or death. These things live with you forever."

He continues, saying he has post-traumatic stress disorder. He describes nightmares of being chased by Viet Cong soldiers and going through stages of acute depression

“I know that I am going to try to live a normal life despite the stress and depression I experience,” he wrote. “As of now I don’t talk about things that are wrong with me because most people do not believe. Although I look healthy, I feel sick.

“I believe with a little understanding, I am not asking for sympathy, I’ll be able to make it. I think it will take hard work and a strong faith in myself but I will make it.”

Stories of veterans who died by suicide were shared, both during the ceremony and in conversation before and afterward.

After an American Legion ceremony, including a prayer, a 21-gun salute and the playing of taps, the 660 flags were collected and ceremoniously destroyed in a burn barrel.

“A lot of my brother veterans aren’t going to be home after they took their own lives,” said Bob Fellows of Clayton, who served in the Army’s 1st Air Cavalry Division in Vietnam, while putting some flags in the burn barrel. “…It just tears at me. It’s kind of hard to describe because people were so desperate that they had nowhere to turn and there’s resources out there.”

Marge and Bill Deo of Clayton attended in honor of their relatives who are veterans. Bill, who is the village’s groundskeeper, said he was too young to serve. Marge said she has relatives who served from World War II to the Persian Gulf War.

“Just proud to honor them in some way or form,” Marge Deo said. “They give a lot.”

“This is the ongoing price of war,” said Donald Behm, Erika Behm’s father and a veteran of the Army’s 82nd Airborne Division. “This is kind of unique ceremony in that respect.”

The 22 suicides per day statistic came from a 2012 report by the VA based on a study of death certificates from 21 states in 2010. The VA’s most recent report on veteran suicides said the rate in 2020 was 16.8 per day, with the rate for the overall population, including veterans, being 121 per day in 2020.

Behm and Grubbs said they plan to have a similar suicide awareness program next September.

To contact the Veterans Crisis Line, dial 988 and chose option 1, text 838255 or chat online at www.veteranscrisisline.net. Others may also call 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

This article originally appeared on The Daily Telegram: Ceremony raises awareness of military veteran suicides