Charita Goshay: This is for all the lonely people
They were dead for a year and a half before anyone even noticed.
On Dec. 26, the bodies of Jimmie Rhoden, 59, and his mother, Shelvagean, 79, were found in their home in Rose Township near Lake Mohawk. Carroll County Sheriff Calvin Graham told the Canton Repository that no foul play is suspected. Because no relatives stepped forward, the township had to cover their burial expenses.
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We've been through a lot these past few years. We still have yet to recover from a worldwide pandemic which not only wreaked havoc physically, but emotionally.
It would not be hyperbole to say we've all experienced some form of PTSD. It has exacerbated what already was an epidemic of loneliness, which is ironic, given that we now have the means to communicate, unprecedented in human history.
But the same technology which purports to connects us, also has made it easier for us to plummet into a well of isolation. In some cases, that isolation has resulted in warped and antisocial behavior, from mass shootings to assaults of women, children and the elderly to mental illness.
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You don't have to be a psychologist to know that loneliness comes out of a basic, fundamental desire to be understood and accepted for who we are, and that a fear of rejection often prevents us from revealing our true selves.
Because people don't tend to wear their loneliness like a sandwich board, the problem is more common and widespread than we know or care to admit. Ours is a culture in which stoicism and going it alone are seen as virtues.
It's one reason why when we see people in other parts of the world openly grieving, it's such a shock to us.
We often wonder how people get sucked into conspiracy theories when the answer is simple: It comes from a misguided search for meaning, community and connection. Our present culture has served in dividing us through absolutism and demagoguery, thus reducing opportunities for connection. These days, we barely can agree to disagree. As a result, we find ourselves siloed, cocooned in echo chambers of our own making.
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A 2021 American Perspectives Survey found that Americans have fewer close friends than any time in recent history. In 2019, survey data published by the Science of People reports that 58% of Americans reported feeling that no one in their life knows them well.
Cigna reports that 10% of Americans say they have no family they can count on, and 23% surveyed say they feel lonely all the time.
We also know that seniors have higher incidences of loneliness.
We likely will never know why the Rhodens closed themselves off from the world, but we know they aren't the only ones. Other such people still live among us, sometimes in plain sight.
We can't fix other peoples lives, but we can acknowledge their existence. It may be something as simple as saying "hello" to a stranger, given that some people go through an entire day without human interaction, or hugging your spouse for no reason. There are widowed and parentless people who would give everything for just one more such moment.
Because wisdom transcends time, let us keep in mind the words of Plato: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."
Charita M. Goshay is a Canton Repository staff writer and member of the editorial board. Reach her at 330-580-8313 or charita.goshay@cantonrep.com. On Twitter: @cgoshayREP
This article originally appeared on The Repository: Charita Goshay: Loneliness is an invisible epidemic
