Charlene Betty Irmen (1928-2021)
May 2—Charlene "Charlee" Betty Irmen, a dedicated mother and wife and a longstanding philanthropist, died Tuesday in the Lakes of Sylvania Retirement and Assisted Living Community. She was 93.
She died of natural causes, said Tom Irmen and Jaine Place, two of her seven children.
Mrs. Irmen was "a true introvert" who avoided attention but took people who were struggling with life under her wing, Mrs. Place said, citing among examples an unwed mother who lived at the family home during her pregnancy and a woman with cerebral palsy whom she helped for 30 years.
Often these also were people who were "in the background," the daughter said.
"We had a French exchange student that was very shy and my mother took care of her," Mrs. Place recalled. "We had a neighbor that died of lupus and mom took over the raising of her children during her last years."
Mrs. Place and Mr. Irmen both said their mother was known for never turning a guest away from the dinner table.
She often hosted dinner parties with Up with People, a nonprofit organization that provides youth intercultural experiences through travel, performing arts, volunteering, and workshops. Mrs. Place said her mother once counted up to about 200 people from 30 countries who had attended those dinners.
"Everyone came to Mom's house, and she learned to cook a lot of international meals," Mrs. Place said. "It was great for us because we were exposed to other cultures and languages and it made our world bigger as we were growing up."
Mrs. Irmen also ensured her children were exposed to an array of potential interests, including sports, dancing and arts, cooking, sewing, scouting, and music.
"She was driving us constantly between picking us up and dropping us off until dinner time, and we'd get home and dinner would be on the table," Mrs. Place said. "She was just an organized person and we all benefited from that."
As her own children started families, Mrs. Irmen made her house on Holland-Sylvania Road into the family gathering place, replete with comforts and memories. Events became "so big that they're almost undoable," Mrs. Place said.
The annual Gramma Chuck's Easter Egg Hunt, which grew to sprawl over acres of land and to include egg-decorating contests and other activities, became a family highlight.
"The more and more grandchildren she had, the bigger the Easter egg hunts got. It wasn't just hunting for eggs, it was hunting for eggs with prizes in them or eggs to exchange for prizes," she recalled. "They'd [grandchildren] have bags of loot, I mean garbage bags full that were hidden, and the kids had to follow clues or do physical challenges to find their bags."
Her philanthropic endeavors extended beyond the family home. Along with a friend, Marge Oatis, Mrs. Irmen developed the first physical-education program at St. Joseph's Catholic School in Maumee in 1960, and later repeated that effort at St. Francis Achievement School.
Once her own children were all school age, Mrs. Irmen began working as a secretary to the hospital administrator at Medical College of Ohio. From there she advanced to becoming an assistant to the dean of MCO's graduate school before retiring with 25 years there.
She then assisted her husband, Thomas "Sam" Irmen, with his administrative duties leading several Habitat for Humanity charitable home-construction projects.
The couple had met in 1947 while both worked in their dormitory's kitchen at what was then Michigan State College to earn tuition money. They married in 1949 after Mr. Irmen graduated.
Mr. Irmen died soon after the couple moved to Lakes of Sylvania retirement and assisted-living facility in 2019.
"Before he died, Mom made him promise that he'd come back and get her," Mrs. Place said. "On Monday my sister started praying to Dad and said, 'You promised you'd come back and get her, now please come and get her,' and she was gone by morning."
Born Jan. 11, 1928, in Jackson, Mich. as the only child of Bertha and Russ Gates, she graduated from Niles (Mich.) High School in 1945 and before attending Michigan State for two years.
Surviving are her daughters, Pat Irmen, Jaine Place, Betsy Damm, and JoDee Robertson; sons, Mike, Terry, and Tom Irmen; and 37 grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
A funeral Mass will begin at 10:30 a.m. Monday at St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church, 5856 Heatherdowns Blvd., with a visitation hour to follow. The church requires that all guests wear face masks and adhere to social distancing.
A virtual visitation is available at https://www.coylefuneralhome.com/obituaries/.
The family suggests tributes to St. Joan of Arc or to Promedica Ebeid Hospice Residence in the care of the ProMedica Foundation.
