Charles C. Milliken: Good news on the biology front
In this day and age with predictions of doom and gloom featured prominently every day, it is encouraging when a glimmer of hope appears. There are three which I ran across.
The first involves nematodes, which are simple little worms found everywhere on planet Earth. 30,000 species have been identified, with about a million remaining to be discovered. Happily, some scientists digging about in the Siberian permafrost discovered a new species of nematode freeze dried for about 46,000 years. It is believed to have gone extinct, but given the million yet undiscovered, I am not sure that is a valid conclusion. Anyway, the good news is after adding water and warmth and nutrition the little critters came back to life – meaning extinction does not have to be permanent after all. Many generations – they live for about a week or so, have grown up and reproduced without a problem. Even better news is this specific species is all female. Think of the research possibilities for ending toxic masculinity and the patriarchy. After all, prominent feminists of a generation ago came up with the slogan “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” This may at last prove prophetic. After all, for those ever-decreasing number of women who wish to have children, a man is still, I fear, necessary. Our Siberian nematodes show the way forward.
A second good sign on the extinction front is a group of biologists setting out to re-create a dodo bird. “Dead as a dodo” has been around for two centuries since the notoriously slow-witted, and tasty, birds were hunted to extinction. Jurassic Park seems ever closer.
A third bit of encouraging news concerns the possibility of not going extinct in the first place. Scientists have discovered that an old mouse, somehow attached to a young mouse’s circulatory system, lives longer. Young blood is better than old blood. The downside is the longevity approximately equaled the length of time the mice were conjoined.
This has obvious downsides for humans. Much as I might like to add a few years to my dwindling stock of the same, I’m not sure being conjoined to a teenager would be entirely feasible. We probably would have very different interests. I can see all kinds of potential conflicts. However, modern medicine perhaps can overcome this downside. Instead of being conjoined, a geriatric case like mine, with much more money to spare, could go down to the local blood bank and have his blood changed much as we routinely take our car in to get its oil changed. Why not? On average we contain about five quarts of blood – a happy coincidence with the five quarts of oil it takes to fill my car – so it should be simple enough to empty the old and fill with the new.
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This will also create new sources of income and increase the growth of the economy. Good, healthy youth, often short on funds for college and other expenditures, could sell their blood. Currently prices range up to $300, and a pint can be donated six times per year – probably more if push comes to shove. Once aged billionaires line up for the blood change, prices will predictably shoot up – maybe to a thousand dollars. If so, that would be about $6,000/year for about six hours of time. Not a bad income supplement.
There will be, of course, other costs. Also, we don’t know yet how often Grandpa will need to stop by for a refill. Maybe four times a year? Figure five quarts at $4,000 per quart – these centers will be profit-making institutions – and another 10 grand to do the procedure, and we’re looking at $30,000, or $120,000 per year. Given we now spend tens of billions of dollars in Medicare to keep folks alive for another 30 days, I think this is cheap. Oil change shops, which have perfected quick and cheap oil changes, can enter the business and drive costs down.
Charles Milliken is a professor emeritus after 22 years of teaching economics and related subjects at Siena Heights University. He can be reached at milliken.charles@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on The Monroe News: Charles Milliken: Good news on the biology front
