Charlotte Latvala: Repurposed gifts better than Black Friday

And so it begins.

Half of my friends already have their holiday shopping done, and the other half are eagerly setting their alarms for 4 a.m. Friday to storm the gates at Target.

I cannot imagine doing either. It’s as far from my reality as … what? Taking up a new career as a bookie? Training to be a bullfighter? Joining a cult?

Nope. No Black Friday for me. I’m all about buying gifts online, usually at the last minute. Because what’s Christmas without a little last-minute panic?

And yet, I’m also an easy target for online stories that begin, “50 gift ideas for under $50!” I will gullibly click on any such headline.

But I recently started thinking — $50? Why stop there? Why should Christmas have a price tag at all?

Here is the current list of free gift ideas rumbling around in my head. (Bonus: No shipping fees or questions about when they’ll arrive! Second bonus: I can play the “it’s-more-sustainable-to-repurpose” card and what sort of person would question that?)

· Fitness grab-bag. A collection of random (brand new or reasonably close) fitness equipment from days gone by. (I’m looking at you, abdominal roller/instrument of torture. Also: yoga blocks, bright orange free weights, and some long rubber band-like contraption that looks more like a medical device than a workout aid.

· Books I’m never going to read. There’s no denying it: I have too many books. (Blame the local library book sale, where I will pick up anything that looks vaguely interesting or has pleasing colors on the cover.)

· Kids’ DVDs. Because I don’t see a future where my husband and I sit down to binge all the “Land Before Time” movies.

· Inspirational messages on social media. Free! Pointless, yes. But free! And who can accuse you of being thoughtless when you’re encouraging all your friends and family to “Live, Laugh, Love!” “Be Kind” and “Make a Difference”?

· A rolling pin. Why do I own a professional quality, heavy-duty rolling pin? This is a mystery that’s been haunting me for years, and I need to put it behind me.

· That bottle of champagne that’s been lurking in the back of the fridge. Because as much as I love the idea of champagne (like I love the idea of traveling back in time to live in New York City in the 1920s and have dinner at the Algonquin Hotel), it may as well be labeled “Instant Headache.”

· A library card. Because honestly, there is no better gift than the gift of knowledge.

· Tubs of hand sanitizer, Clorox wipes, and about 300 cloth masks. Because I would really love to get all pandemic-related items out of our house. Now.

· A bag of cat hair. Sure, it’s not a gift everyone would appreciate, but we have plenty to spare, and surely there’s some crafty someone out there who would love to fill a throw pillow or adorable stuffed animal with soft, genuine, made-in-America cat hair. Maybe a pillow that says “Live, Laugh, Love”?

Charlotte is a columnist for The Times. You can reach her at charlottelatvala@gmail.com.

This article originally appeared on Beaver County Times: Latvala: Repurposed gifts better than Black Friday