Charlotte Latvala: My rules for moving your kids
We just moved our daughter into her first apartment.
It’s a typical college apartment, close to campus. With a refrigerator, stove, and rickety drawers for mismatched silverware. Some carpet stains. A questionable splotch on the ceiling.
In other words, perfect.
As moves go, this one was remarkably smooth. It was a drizzly, not super-hot day. The new place is on the first floor, so there was no huffing and puffing up five flights while carrying a laundry basket filled with the dead weight of ten thousand Tide pods, or waiting an eternity for the elevator, only to find it filled with another college kid, her floor-to-ceiling belongings, and her entire extended family, including visiting cousins from Iowa.
Anyway.
With any luck, our girl will stay in this apartment for the remainder of her college career. That means no moving for the next 24 months. I am rejoicing, because after three kids and three colleges in three different states, I’m tired of this particular rite of passage.
However, I have picked up some valuable tips and techniques over the years.
Allow me to share my Rules for Moving Your Kids:
The overarching rule is “try to get out of it.” No point straining yourself at your age, when your kid is young and healthy and in need of some life lessons.
Encourage kids to move far away. Then you won’t have to be involved, whether it’s moving them for school, or a new job, or simply to “follow their dreams,” which by the way shouldn’t include you driving a U-Haul and two cats across seven states.
Plan your work schedule accordingly. That is, if you “can’t get out of work,” or are “covering for a sick colleague,” you aren’t available to help them move.
Have a flare-up of the old “back problem.” (No need to specify that said back problem involves you having trouble getting up from the recliner while sipping an adult beverage and listing to “Dark Side of the Moon” for the 4,000th time.)
And if they turn on the sad, helpless child eyes, and beg, and you momentarily take leave of your senses and agree to help them move? Set some rules, just like you did in preschool.
No going higher than the first floor. Second floor, tops. Third, if you must.
No bringing any item that requires assembly. (We’re looking at you, IKEA bed frame.)
No carrying anything heavier than a Costco-sized bag of coffee.
No walking five miles all over campus looking for a moving cart.
No handyman projects. (Dads — are you listening? Let them tackle the burned-out lightbulb themselves.)
Nothing that involves “lifting” or “stacking” or “moving” furniture.
No moving anything that Amazon can deliver.
Most important: Pay Mom and Dad for helping. If you’re out of cash (we know you are) we’ll take a huge hug and the promise to text us in a few days. And call maintenance about that stain on the ceiling, will you?
Charlotte is a columnist for The Times. You can reach her at charlottelatvala@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on Beaver County Times: Charlotte Latvala: My rules for moving your kids
