Chelsea Handler Fires Back at ‘Crybaby’ Tucker Carlson

It all started when Chelsea Handler posted an innocuous Valentine’s Day video about a “day in the life of a childless woman.” Tucker Carlson—and his various right-wing minions—were triggered, spending a surprising amount of airtime going after her jokes.

Carlson called Handler an “aging, deeply unlikeable woman who never had kids,” while one of his guests delivered a shockingly misogynist rant calling her a woman whose “womb resembles a dried-up tumbleweed blowing down an old western town, and your Valentine’s date for the tenth year in a row is a 10-year-old copy of ‘Magic Mike’ and a half-full bottle of Xanax, and you’re trying to pretend like you’re happy, but you’re not happy.”

Ben Shapiro, meanwhile, said it’s “written all over her face how miserable she is.”

As of this week, Handler is no longer guest-hosting The Daily Show, so instead she used her social media accounts to fire back at Carlson and crew.

“Wow,” she said in response. “Why would I even need my own children when I get to hear these crybabies all the time?”

“You guys seem so triggered by me,” Handler added. “I mean, my goodness, Tucker, I think it is time for you to ask yourself a serious question: Are you really upset about how much freedom I have? Or are you upset that you haven’t been able to take it away from me yet?”

Then, in a “quick shout-out” to Shapiro, the comedian said, “Thank you for helping my cause of not having children. Who needs the birth control pill when your voice is 100 percent effective?”

Finally, Handler promised Carlson that she would keep putting out videos like the one that seemed to burrow its way so deep under his skin. “I think we both know that you are hate-masturbating to me,” she concluded. “And I’m down with that!”

For more, listen to Chelsea Handler on The Last Laugh podcast.

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