Children's Cove expansion in the works as abuse referrals rise

BARNSTABLE —Stepping into the Children's Cove building is like stepping into the home of a good friend. The couches are comfortable, there's coffee on demand and a friendly face is always there to greet you.

This atmosphere of ease is on purpose. Children's Cove handles some of the most sensitive and traumatic situations on the Cape and Islands: child abuse interventions.

“Some of these kids come to us at their worst moments, and we don’t want them to come into a sterile, unwelcoming environment," said Jacob Stapledon, the organization's community outreach and education program manager. "Child advocacy is set up to maximize information and minimize trauma for the child. We want to provide a friendly and comfortable environment for them.”

Established in 1997 by members of the Barnstable County Task Force on Children, Children's Cove has been providing support to survivors of child abuse and their loved ones for 25 years.

"We work with Cape and Islands District Attorney’s office, local law enforcement, our pediatric sexual assault nurse examiner and sometimes the Department of Children and Families or the Department of Public Health, depending on the case," Stapledon said. "Whenever there is a report of potential abuse of a child, it goes through us, and we coordinate a multi-disciplinary response and schedule an interview with the family."

The Cove's staff then works with the child, any family members or caregivers, law enforcement personnel and state agencies to address the specific situation, and provide any follow-up support.

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Before the child advocacy model was introduced, Stapledon said, any child who came forward with allegations of abuse might have had to tell their story to five to eight people, potentially adding to their trauma and creating discrepancies in their account.

"They (children) used to go to the police station first," he said. "They might be thinking, ‘Cops catch the bad guys, and if they’re talking to me, does that makes me the bad guy?'"

The team at Children's Cove, however, has been trained to deal with situations where child abuse might have occurred, and are able to counsel the child wherever they are in terms of telling their story.

Cove referrals rose 55% in past year, expansion in the works

“We’re here to support children, that’s our priority. We’re a child-first organization, above any investigation or anything else. We support investigations, of course, but where we really come into play is coordination of care and support," Stapledon said. "Our goal is, how can we ensure people are being supported and moving forward from trauma?”

Children's Cove has been busier than ever, according to Stapledon, with case referrals up by 55% from the previous fiscal year.

Because of the rise in demand, Children's Cove is getting ready to break ground on an expansion to the existing building that will increase the size of the organization's existing medical suite and move it to the ground floor, but also create more office and conference space.

"We're really bursting at the seams as it is, and we are planning on hiring two more people," Stapledon said. "It couldn't come at a better time."

While an expanding business might be cause for celebration, a rise in demand for Children's Cove's services likely rings alarm bells.

Stapledon said in just the past two years, there's been an 80% increase in referrals to Children's Cove for cases of online sex abuse of children, something he suspects the pandemic had a hand in.

“COVID took everything online, especially with school, younger people had access to all different kinds of media. Where kids go, predators follow," he said. "It’s not just a sudden blip, it’s been a steady increase."

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Online sex abuse in children takes many forms: sexting, sending sexually explicit messages or photos to another person via text message.

Online sex abuse can also resemble what Stapeldon called "sextortion," where someone has posed as a younger person online and received photos from their target, after which they reveal their identity and threaten to release the photos unless they meet certain demands.

"It's really a variety of different things," he said.

Many factors have contributed to the significant rise in online child sex abuse.

Stapledon said the climate around discussing child sex abuse has changed dramatically in the six years he's been with the organization. The topic is less taboo than it used to be, leading to a potential rise in reporting.

“There’s more public awareness around issues like the ones we deal with, people are more comfortable talking about this kind of stuff, especially child sexual abuse," Stapledon said. "We saw it with the #MeToo movement, and the USA gymnastics situation, or even long before that with the Catholic church abuse scandal. People have more leeway nowadays to talk about this kind of stuff."

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Also, as the organization grows, more people are aware of the services it offers, Stapledon added.

"The more we get out in the community, whether it be through events or ads on the radio or online, the more calls we get. The more training we provide, the more cases we get," he said. “When we’re bringing that forward and getting more information out we get more referrals."

While there is no average age for the children Children's Cove sees — Stapledon said it varies by the year — the organization sees more female cases than male, a lot of which has to do with disclosure rates and stigma around boys reporting abuse.

"There's definitely a stigma around men speaking up about potential assault," he said. "There's this idea of, 'Why didn't you do anything?' Which is totally wrong."

'Parents need to be able to understand their child's online world, too.'

Stapledon said it is crucial for parents to be as involved in their children's online lives as they are in their offline ones.

“The online world is a permanent part of the real world now, and parents need to be able to understand their child’s online world, too," he said. "Knowing what music they listen to or who their friends are is just as important as knowing what social media they have, or what’s trending on TikTok. Parents need to know how to use this technology. We can’t pretend it will all go away one day.”

Stapledon said it's important for parents to keep an open and frank dialogue with their children about their bodies and how to recognize when a boundary has been crossed.

"Our tagline is: 'Have the conversation,'" he said. "Be as involved in their online world and normalize that the same way you would as their sports team."

If any parent or caregiver has concerns about their child, Stapledon said, they can contact Children's Cove at any time to speak with a staff member.

"Everything we do here is free and confidential," he said. "Parents can call here any time."

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This article originally appeared on Cape Cod Times: Children's Cove expanding facility due to increase in abuse referrals