Is Chris Christie serious? This is why he'll fail against Trump | Opinion

It’s hard to be “telling it like it is” when you’ve lost all credibility and no one cares what you have to say. Yet, here Chris Christie stands, incredulously launching another quixotic quest for the White House.

For months, Christie teased this announcement — claiming he’s best equipped to take it to Donald Trump, despite a long-record of falling in line as a beta to Trump’s alpha. Christie even set up the ridiculously named “Tell It Like It Is” SuperPAC — which is more ironic than 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife. For years, Christie clammed up every single time he had the chance to call Trump out — to the media, on two campaign trails, or to The Donald’s face during those dark Oval Office years.

Instead, at every turn — from the moment he endorsed Trump at Mar-a-Lago in the meme-worthy “hostage tape video” in Spring 2016 all the way through the November 2020 night Trump lost — Christie failed to pipe up regarding dangerous policies and unhinged behavior. Worse, he served as a charter member of Trump’s cabinet of castrati singing his praises.

There were silly, yet telling, examples of obsequiousness, like Trump’s insistence on telling Christie what to eat for dinner. “

This is what it’s like to be with Trump,” Christie recalled. “He says, ‘There’s the menu, you guys order whatever you want.’ And then he says, ‘Chris, you and I are going to have the meatloaf.’”

This was quite the submissive metaphor for Christie admitting his contentment taking whatever Trump dished out, so long as he was at the table. There were also dangerous examples of Christie petrified to stand-up for what’s right, to his own detriment — like sitting maskless in a windowless room for hours of debate prep at the height of the pandemic … and then being hospitalized for COVID-19.

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Time and again, Christie chose silence to secure his place fighting for scraps of attention at Trump’s mean girls table. Somehow Christie contends he’ll now confront the Regina George of the Republican party? Please, governor, stop trying to make this fetch of a presidential campaign happen.

Poll numbers tell it like it is — and they’re in the dumps. Just last week, Monmouth University found Christie “receives a decidedly negative rating (21% favorable and 47% unfavorable) and is the only contender of the ten tested in this poll who gets a net negative score from the Republican electorate.” This data is staggeringly unsurprising following Christie’s abject failure as governor and lackluster showing on the campaign trail.

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Here's a bigger problem. After a decade-and-a-half in the spotlight, Christie isn’t some fresh unknown quantity whose numbers will rise as people become acquainted with him. Everyone already knows precisely who Christie is —and they clearly don’t like him. Much like when Hillary Clinton ran in 2016, this candidate comes to the presidential starting gate not as some un-molded piece of clay. Christie is an established commodity for whom people hold clearly cemented thoughts as a person, his impotence to do the job, and history of rejection at the national ballot box.

As governor, Christie’s record was abysmal. New Jersey endured a record-shattering 11 credit downgrades on his watch — or maybe it was 12 or 13. I stopped counting once it reached double digits.  While the rest of America hit the upswing, New Jersey led the nation in foreclosures, and consistently trailed the country on joblessness. Christie ignored rotting rail and road infrastructure, putting not just commute times, but businesses and lives in jeopardy.  It’s no surprise Christie poll plummeted to a mere 14% approval by the time he left office. The people who knew him most and longest told it like it truly is.

Unlike Christie’s 2015 presidential launch in his hometown gymnasium, there was no way this announcement could possibly take place in New Jersey. By now, Garden State denizens — on both side of the aisle — view him as a complete joke. With barely any accomplishments, Christie is defined by closing a bridge, sitting on a beach and acting as Renfield to Trump the Impaler.  Christie often asserts he’d rather be respected than loved. Yet, in his own state, he’s neither.

So, Christie’s took his kick-off to New Hampshire. But even the Granite State is a site of great embarrassment. After abandoning the semblance of caring to govern, Christie took an eye-popping nearly-200 visits to America’s first primary state — more than any other GOP candidate during the 2016 election. Yet, the end result was anemic, with Christie ultimately eking out a measly 6^th place finish. (Hey, at least Christie topped his Caucus results in Iowa — when after all but ignoring the Hawkeye State, he earned only 1.8% of the vote, sticking a mortifying 10^th place finish).

Last go-around, the influential New Hampshire Union Leader eventually told it like it is, by publicly regretting its initial Christie endorsement. Publisher Joseph McQuaid took the rare step of confessing this “bad choice” because “watching Christie kiss the Donald’s ring…demonstrated how wrong we were.”

It takes chutzpah for Christie to crawl back to New Hampshire when, seven years ago, the ones who saw him up-close acknowledged their blunder.

“Rather than standing up to the bully, Christie bent his knee," McQuaid said. "In doing so, he rejected the very principles of his campaign that attracted our support.”

Christie positioning himself as someone who’ll take it to Trump is as ludicrous as Trump thinking he can recapture the White House following disastrous 2018 midterm losses and a colossal 2020 shellacking. Christie believing people will start liking, respecting and supporting him is as out-of-touch as Trump banking on garnering more votes following years of fanning the flames of treason and Anti-Semitism, while being found guilty of sexual abuse.

As Logan Roy of "Succession" would say, these are not serious people. Christie particularly possesses as much a chance of winning a national election as one of Logan’s kids had of taking over Waystar Royco. By again throwing his hat in the ring, Christie exhibits the same childish entitlement as Kendall, showcases Roman’s masochism and maintains as much a probability of becoming president as Conner enjoyed.

Joshua Henne, president of White Horse Strategies, is a political strategist who lives in New Jersey.

This article originally appeared on NorthJersey.com: Chris Christie's quest to unseat Donald Trump won't work. Here's why