Is Christmas already stressing you out? Remember, it's about family, food and goodness.
The holidays are here, and we should welcome them with an open heart and gracious spirit.
Don’t be one who starts to dread Christmas as soon as the Thanksgiving leftovers are eaten. It is not the time to get the Christmas blues, often packed with depression, envy and self-pity. This is not the time to think negatively or spread negativity.
Rather, you should view the coming Christmas and New Year’s holidays with excitement, anticipation and a grateful heart. In fact, with a positive attitude and thoughtful planning, you can make the upcoming holidays among the best-ever.
First decide where you want to spend that special day – and with whom. Will you and your family prepare a big, festive Christmas meal and invite family members and friends over? Will you be the guest of family or friends that day or on New Year’s Day? Maybe you prefer a quiet day and dinner with your immediate family only. Now is the time to make plans so your holidays will go smoothly.
If you plan to travel out of town, your travel arrangements should be completed. As we know, Christmas travel, especially with children, can be challenging, so you cannot plan too thoroughly or too early. Even if you hope to drive across town or a few hours away, lock in your arrangements now. Don’t wait until the last minute and find yourself scrambling. That only reduces your holiday celebration to a stressful event when you deserve peace and tranquility.
Here are some additional things to keep in mind so you can put your heart into the holidays rather than lose your soul by getting caught up in the hustle and bustle.
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Remember the reason for the season.
Celebrating Christmas is celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. That does not require excessive spending, lavish parties and decorations that can be seen from outer space.
Instead, think about what is important to you and your family and establish your own traditions. When I was growing up, my church had sunrise services on Christmas morning. It was an hour of praise and celebration of the birth of Christ. Though we didn’t always look forward to rising so early, we always enjoyed the service, followed by returning home to open presents together before enjoying a good hearty breakfast.
Even if you don’t attend a sunrise service on Christmas morning, take time to reflect on and teach your children and grandchildren the true meaning of Christmas.
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Reach out to extended family
These weeks leading to Christmas and closing out the year are a great time to check on family members who may be ill or in a distant city. Call your grandparents or grandchildren, or that aunt and uncle you have not seen in a while. How about those delightful cousins you miss communicating with?
Plan a family Zoom holiday gathering or FaceTime loved ones. Pick up the phone and call that special friend. Spending such special time with loved ones can be fun and heart-warming and set the tone for the coming year. This is how memories are made and traditions are started.
Share quality time in the kitchen
The heart of the home is the kitchen, so get the entire family involved in a holiday labor of love. Bake cookies, breads, cakes and pies.
Children will enjoy cracking eggs and stirring the batter, as well as decorating the cookies and cakes. Plan a festive meal for which all family members can contribute their talents or learn from others.
Go a step further and plan a dress-up meal for which family members do the culinary work.
Share the goodness
Plan to cook and bake more than your family can consume so you can share with others. Consider elderly family members and neighbors who could use a little extra holiday cheer.
This is the season to share with others, so help your children select toys and clothing they can donate to youngsters in need. Also consider volunteering with your family to help feed the needy or donate food (or money) for a holiday meal. This will serve as a life lesson on giving to others.
My sisters and their families were enjoying breakfast at a Memphis restaurant over the Thanksgiving holidays. A teary-eyed elderly woman approached them and said they reminded her of her own family, but now she and her husband are alone. She said she had already paid the bill for the large group. This family was not in need, but they were stunned and impressed with the generosity of the kind stranger.
Don’t let the holidays stress you out
Start by de-emphasizing money and gifts while focusing more on quality time with loved ones. Plan your shopping outings when there are fewer crowds, and order online when possible. Be realistic and realize upfront that you can’t be everywhere and you can’t do everything, so don’t try.
Learn to say “no” when asked to take on new tasks, and budget your spending. Don’t criticize yourself for what you can’t get done. Plan self-care activities into your schedule; get your hair and nails done and plan a massage. And take time to enjoy relaxing holiday music. There is something for every music taste, from R&B to gospel to country to rock to classical. Find the music genre that relaxes you and enhances your holiday mood.
Plan a family holiday adventure
Here in Memphis and across Tennessee, we have many wonderful activities that families and couples will enjoy. Load up the car and head to Shelby Farms for “Starry Nights,” where everyone will be wowed as you drive through the dazzling display of millions of lights at Shelby Farms’ 4,500 acres of green space.
The Memphis Zoo at Overton Park has mesmerizing “Zoo Lights” displays throughout its 76 acres. With the 3,500 animals at the zoo, enjoy this “merry and bright holiday experience,” along with the Gingerbread Forest, Chinese lanterns, Alice’s Tea Party, ice skating and Santa as well.
And then there are the “Holiday Wonders” at the Memphis Botanical Gardens’ 96 acres with 30 specialty gardens. The Gardens showcase expansive holiday exhibitions for all ages, including Santa’s sleigh in Northern Lights and even Santa himself on Sundays.
At Dixon Gallery and Gardens across Park Avenue from the Botanical Gardens, you can enjoy the second installment of “Black Artists in America,” which focuses on the Civil Rights era to the Bicentennial. The third and final installment will open at the Dixon in the fall of 2025.
Please check the websites for Shelby Farms, Botanical Gardens, Memphis Zoo and the Dixon for days and times these festive displays and activities are available.
Remember that the holidays are special times that are meant to bring families closer together to share a special occasion – the birth of Jesus Christ. Put more of your heart into Christmas, and you will experience joy and peace that characterize the holiday.
Lynn Norment, a columnist for The Commercial Appeal, is a former editor for Ebony Magazine.
This article originally appeared on Nashville Tennessean: Christmas spirit: Family, food and goodness can heal holiday stress
