The cobra loose in Grand Prairie has taken to Twitter to state its case

·4 min read

The venomous snake that went missing in Grand Prairie has taken to Twitter to advocate for education about snakes, taunt authorities in their efforts to capture the serpent and give people a laugh.

It was bound to happen. There are too many good pop culture references to use, like the nemesis of G.I. Joe, Cobra, or the martial artists with a track record of questionable-at-best ethics from “Cobra Kai.”

Police and animal control in Grand Prairie have been searching for the African banded cobra since Tuesday, when it escaped from its owner’s house in the 1800 block of Cherry Street.

Grand Prairie police and firefighters notified area hospitals Tuesday of the missing snake, triggering a protocol with Parkland Memorial Hospital in Dallas to be prepared to treat any bites people receive from the snake.

A police spokesman said the snake is still evading arrest (actually he said it was “still on the run,” but that doesn’t seem as apropos) and the search is still on.

And while an African banded cobra bite isn’t a joke — a bite from the snake is fatal if not treated immediately — the creator of the Twitter page is bringing some humor to an otherwise scary (understatement of the week?) situation.

The fictitious escapades of the cobra have taken it all over the place, like an unspecified bazaar where Grand Prairie Cobra, which we’ll just call GPC for now, had a rather uncomfortable family reunion.

GPC has taken some breaks to watch “Karate Kid” and found that it relates to the ideology of Cobra Kai.

And the snake has opened up about its battle with body dysmorphia and how photos in the news have exacerbated the struggle.

“The camera does add ten pounds,” GPC tweeted.

It’s even posted a selfie, wearing a top hat and with a well-grown mustache.

The snake has a Twitterverse nemesis outside the authorities trying to track it down, too.

The Grand Prairie mongoose Twitter, or @GrandMongoose, is hunting for the snake. Mongooses — not mongeese, we double checked just to be sure — are natural predators to venomous snakes.

The Grand Prairie Cobra (or, rather the human behind the Twitter who stayed in character the whole time) declined a phone interview, citing fears the authorities may trace its calls.

The cobra said it created the Twitter to defend itself and its species.

“After the initial news reports I couldn’t stand by and let them drag my species through the mud,” the anonymous tweeter said in a message on the social media platform. “I’m honestly scared myself and should be left alone. I mean no harm and hope the metroplex can embrace me as their own.”

But, the snake Twitter manager said, it is important to stay away and while the snake shouldn’t be punished for existing, if you see it, you should call 911.

GPC did say it’s important for parents to make sure their kids know not to go anywhere near it, should they see it.

“Kids should definitely stay away. But kids, we snakes are cool,” GPC said in a Twitter direct message. “Just have a parent take you to the Fort Worth Zoo and see other snakes and learn more about us.”

Grand Prairie police agree on that point. They’ve gone to Twitter themselves and urged anybody who sees any venomous snake, which is a prohibited animal to own under Dallas County rules, should get away from it and call 911.

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