After 17 valiant years of holding multiple bottles of ranch dressing, fixings for school lunches and one always-questionable container of leftovers in the back, our kitchen fridge bit the dust this week.
Note that I said kitchen fridge. You probably didn’t think anything of it.
In other parts of the country, “kitchen fridge” would be redundant. Like a bathroom toilet or a bedroom bed.
But here? It makes perfect sense. We take our refrigeration very seriously.
Because here, a kitchen fridge is different from a basement fridge, or a garage fridge, or if you’re among the true aficionados – a basement bar fridge.
A kitchen fridge is defined by its location, but that’s only the beginning. It’s usually the fanciest of the fridges in a Cincinnati home, but just like mama told you, it’s what inside that counts. And the kitchen fridge’s contents are vastly different from those other ones.
A kitchen fridge has predictably kitcheny things: eggs, milk, juice, 465 condiments. In my extensive, but non-scientific poll, rarely does it have drinks beyond those you might have for breakfast, or ones kids would drink. Leftovers, lunch meat and produce live here.
So – where does one store soft drinks, beer or wine? You can’t sully the fancy kitchen fridge with such contents. Those are the property of the beloved garage or basement fridge.
That auxiliary fridge (or fridges) gets the fun stuff. Everything that comes in a 12-ounce can. Party platters. It’s also the repository for overflow frozen meats and vegetables. We’re SouthMidwesterners (thanks, I coined that term). We buy in bulk, y’all.
The garage fridge is generally covered in a light layer of exhaust that somehow doesn’t bother us. The basement fridge is likely topped by cobwebs and tucked into a difficult spot. Bonus points if it’s in some shade of harvest gold or avocado green.
No one knows where those extra fridges come from. Maybe they were there when you bought your house. Who knows. But they work like champs, knowing the importance of keeping your beer ice cold and your goetta frozen until you need it next.
My daughter posted a TikTok rating our refrigerators. Clearly, she gets her mother’s gift for social media content. I had never counted how many were in our house until then. With mini fridges, wine fridges, bar fridges and the regular ones, we have seven.
If you’re doing the mental math right now and saying, “Yeah. Sounds about right,” then it’s time to start reminiscing about the ’81 Bengals and debating Gold Star vs. Skyline.
You’re Cincinnati through and through.
Things you might have missed this week:
- By now you’ve heard 600 times that the Bengals haven’t won a playoff game since 1991. What was life like back then? Come along on a trip down memory lane.
- Speaking of the Bengals, can you guess the top five best-selling jerseys? I’d be game for #5.
- I’m a sucker for a really good fast food restaurant. Who am I kidding? Any fast food restaurant. So you best believe I’m hitting up Swensen’s soon. Have you been?
- Got a brown thumb? The Cincinnati Zoo can help!
May your fridges be stocked and your weekend be a great one.
This article originally appeared on Cincinnati Enquirer: Coffee Break with Kathrine: One fridge, two fridge