The late Colin Powell's leadership rules could be key to alleviate prep sports bickering

It was a situation I know all too well.

Once again, I was standing there at the end of a season, watching a team deal with a loss in its last game, in a playoff situation.

The players huddled around to listen to a coach’s final rundown of a negative chain of events.

These speeches usually include “Be proud,” “Keep your heads up,” “It hurts now, but you’ll remember all the great times and teammates long after the pain is over.”

The players sit with that “hundred-mile stare” into nowhere — some with tears in their eyes while others work hard to fight them back.

All that coach speak sounds like the words of Charlie Brown’s teacher … blah, blah, blah.

Someday, the words will hit home.

On Friday, it came in the first moments after Boonsboro was unceremoniously ousted by South Carroll in the Class 2A-1A West football playoffs.

There were many different things on the line — ranging from a chance for a state title down to a group of seniors trying to prolong their high school careers for at least one more game.

Like they say, falls don’t hurt. It’s the sudden stop.

For me, I feel like the Grim Reaper in those situations. This is like a death in the family.

To be honest, in sports, you witness more of these moments than the championship celebrations.

The odds against hoisting a championship trophy are huge. There has to be a reason athletes, coaches and teams put so much effort for the slightest shot at celebration.

Some wise man — or wise guy — said people learn more by losing than they earn from winnings.

It doesn’t make sense, but maybe there's something to that.

One possible slant came from a local author/philosopher I know. And with the help of his wise and savvy protégé, I was reintroduced to the “13 Rules of Leadership” of former United States Secretary of State Colin Powell.

Powell, a four-star general and commander of the U.S. Army Forces Command who became the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, died on Oct. 18, bringing these guidelines back to the forefront.

He had many years to test them in lifetime as a soldier, officer, politician, statesman and diplomat.

Powell’s following list has some universal ideas and meanings.

1. It ain’t as bad as you think! It will look better in the morning.

2. Get mad then get over it.

3. Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

4. It can be done.

5. Be careful what you choose. You may get it.

6. Don’t let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.

7. You can’t make someone else’s choices. You shouldn’t let someone else make yours.

8. Check small things.

9. Share credit.

10. Remain calm. Be kind.

11. Have a vision. Be demanding.

12. Don’t take counsel of your fears or naysayers.

13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

Powell owned many titles in his life, although football coach wasn’t on his resume. Yet, his simple rules seem universal.

A coach, an athlete and a parent of an athlete each has its own level of leadership. These rules can be applied accordingly to each.

Coaches are on a deserted island. They are out there all by themselves making decisions that impact so many facets.

In the course of a season, coaches take groups of individuals and mold them into a functioning group. They are also charged with implementing a focus, discipline and unity on casual strangers to make them push in the same direction.

Those connections bring a level of admiration, respect and honor that’s unique and hard to rival.

Methods and styles vary — along with success — but practically every coach has a similar checklist to Powell’s.

Athletes can look at Powell’s golden rules and see tips to be a better player and a teammate. The mental state of competing carries a level of calmness and focus when in the heat of battle. Moreover, it’s a blueprint for handling criticism, instruction and personalities.

And Powell’s guidelines have merit in parenthood.

A parent’s natural instinct is to protect their athlete. Complaints about playing time and squabbling about coaching tactics are demands for equal treatment.

Leadership, though, comes from knowing when to pull back.

High school athletics has a history of highlighting seniors … and then juniors. Most everyone has to wait their turn to play.

Some of that comes from that seniority, but there’s also a coach’s evaluation on each player’s skills. And being a youth-league or travel-team star doesn’t always fit in varsity sports.

Not every kid is ready to play. It isn’t personal. Coaches don’t want to hurt the team’s chances to win, nor does he want to open up a player to injury.

The key rule on the Powell’s list is No. 3, the battle of position vs. ego. No matter your job in the process, you can always lead by example.

Powell found his strength in a calm demeanor, a cool head and a lot of communication through the ranks.

Success comes when everyone feels involved and on the same page. If only two of the three communicate, then no one knows the whole story.

In the end, what’s at stake is more important than any championship or playing time. In these games, the trophy is each players ability to deal with success, failure and adversity on their own.

And that takes the leadership of coaches, parents and the players themselves.

No matter how much we try, the world has more setbacks than victories and more tough lessons than rewards.

Any coach, parent or player who has the ability to lead through those dark times is a champion in any book.

This article originally appeared on The Herald-Mail: Parasiliti: Powell's rules of leadership provide blueprint for success