Column: Rokita, BLM, and the obtuse nature of today's politics

After reading about Attorney General Todd Rokita’s press conference where he stated that Indiana’s public schools should treat the Black Lives Matter movement as a political group, I thought about my time on the MCCSC School Board. That night I had a dream. In my dream, Attorney General Rokita also mentioned an incident at Indianapolis International Airport. A person later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a drafting triangle, a compass, and a calculator.

During the dream the attorney general said he believed the man was a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement and the FBI intends to charge him.

“Al-Gebra is a fearsome, transverse cult,” the attorney general said. “As a group they seek means of average solutions by extremes, and sometimes randomly go off on tangents in search of absolute values. A member of al-Gebra may use acute alias such as ‘x’ or ‘y’ and refer to himself as an unknown identity, but we have determined that he is likely to belong to a common denominator — the axis of medieval that coordinates in every country.”

The attorney general continued, “Al-Gebra functions as a bunch of standard deviations that have been tribal since the time of Noah’s arc,” a remark that struck a chord with the media. “They are inordinate in terrorism, of that I’m abscissaly sure.

"They use degrees of irrational subtrahend to create differences and conditional inequalities among friendly, discriminant nations, leading to arguments and making us less functional and coefficient in attaining our goals. And they have the international mobility of a swarm of loci. Give them an air matrix to inflate and a plot to set it on, and they can live anywhere. If necessary, we will pursue them to the corners of this earthly sphere.”

He complemented this with the supplementary remark, “As the Greek philanderer Isosceles once said, ‘Never forget that there are three sides to every triangle, and sometimes two of them are normal.’ ” The attorney general added, “As you can tell, I am not diagonally opposed to that prime concept. However, CRT is another matter.”

When asked to comment on the arrest, an Indiana Republican congressman obtusely said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes. Next to bisectual marriages, I’m concerned about the significant places of such weapons. Tomorrow I intend to go to the hill and address Congruence about this situation. I have a volume of suggestions and a finite series of common solutions for them to consider.”

Rokita also warned, “These weapons of math instruction are without parallel and have the potential to decimal everything on a scalene never before seen unless we become exponents of an infinity Higher Power and begin to factor-in random facts of kindness. If we enter a phase in which all nations are integrated in all degrees of purpose that steady state will give us slope for a better tomorrow, and we will all be infinitely better off. In such a case we could have our pi and eat it too.”

I awoke the next morning wondering if I actually had a dream or if this was our reality in today’s Indiana.

David Sabbagh served on the Bloomington City Council from 1996 through 2007 and MCCSC school board from 2013 through 2016. He is a resident of Bloomington.

This article originally appeared on The Herald-Times: Todd Rokita's BLM statement analyzed by guest writer