Column: Saralee makes a new friend after surviving her nerves

Nobody intimidates me. I don’t get upset anymore when my bra strap breaks leaving me with one large globule situated up where it’s supposed to be, and the other dangling somewhere below my waist.

But this “nobody intimidates me” business turned out to be a bunch of baloney the minute I responded, “I’d love to,” when Cape Cod Times columnist, Lawrence Brown, suggested we meet for lunch.

Here’s the thing. There’s been no reason for me to feel anxious about meeting Larry. Yet, I was. Everybody knows of him. His weekly Sunday columns are extraordinarily written. Clearly, he’s a brilliant guy. He’s a genius at authoring stories that are replete with information we are all better off knowing.

Our first lunch date was at Wimpy’s. Tearing through my closet, I said to my husband, Bob, “What should I wear? I haven’t been out since the pandemic, not COVID — the bubonic plague.”

I went on. “What should I talk about? The Supreme Court? That rash on my back?”

“Saralee,” he said, “whatever you decide to talk about, just don’t.”

I was 45 minutes early to the restaurant. I began rehearsing arm positions. Maybe I’ll cross my arms. No. Maybe I’ll have my fist under my chin as if I’m pondering something important. No. Maybe I’ll lean back, appearing relaxed with my hands behind my head. No. I’d lean back so far that the chair would fall — followed by the table I’d be clinging to. Talk about Larry’s first impression of me.

I chose a table near the door so I’d see Larry come in. But it was too crowded. I had the poor waitress change everything to a cozy booth. But I switched to bar stools, then back to the original table near the door, eventually winding up in the booth again.

Larry and I recognized each other from our newspaper photos. He didn’t notice that while he so easily started talking about his family, I had my face in a frozen smile, clamping my teeth together to stop them from chattering.

I casually pretended to examine the menu. It was upside down.

While Larry was mentioning someone he hadn’t heard back from, I suggested, “Maybe she’s intimidated by you.”

“ME?!”

“Yes.”

“Do you find me intimidating?”

“Yes,” I blurted out.

“Why?”

“Because you are … because you are — .” I couldn’t find the word.

“I’ve got it!” I said “Because you’re — um — tall. You know … as in — tall.”

Last Friday, Larry and his beautiful wife, Bettina, came over.

Since Bettina eats organic foods, I had asked Larry what I should serve. He said, “You don’t need to feed us. With Bettina’s specific needs, why not sit in your paradisiacal garden and drink down something cool while we talk? No preparation on your end — and none needed.”

But my Hebrew genetics, involving the mandatory feeding of people, kicked in.

I went to four different supermarkets.

I served: Organic raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, mangos, kiwi, cantaloupe, dates, organic hummus with three kinds of organic crackers, organic chocolate cookies, chocolate peanut butter squares, chocolate peanut butter rounds, brie with apricot jam, organic cheddar, organic Colby, organic Swiss, Virginia peanuts, and raspberry lemonade.

Do I still feel intimidated around Larry? This gentle, modest, humble fellow? Yes, of course I do.

And so, if you want to read about what’s important on Cape Cod, what love really means, how neighbors can help neighbors, how geese mate for life, catboats, an African safari, voting rights, gender identity, being a mother, equality, sailing, and motorcycles, then make some time every Sunday to say hello to my new friend, Larry Brown.

Award-winning columnist, Saralee Perel, lives in Marstons Mills. She can be reached at sperel@saraleeperel.com or via her website: www.SaraleePerel.com. Her column runs the first Friday of every month.

This article originally appeared on Cape Cod Times: Column: Saralee makes a new friend after surviving her nerves