Column: Some tips for those who write news releases

Oct. 14—I've been a journalist for a very long time.

I've read thousands of news releases. Maybe tens of thousands. and I shake my head at least once a day. Most people who write news releases — press releases, media releases, call them what you like — really aren't good at it.

Some of it is just folks who don't know any better, doing the best they can. In those cases, we don't mind helping with the editing. On the other hand, some of it comes from professionals, trotting out institutionalized error. Those are the ones that try our patience.

We spend a lot of time fixing news releases. Here are some of the things we run into a lot:

Nothing is the "first annual." You've got a new event. That's great. We're happy for you and we're glad to help you get the word out. But something isn't annual until it happens in more than one consecutive year. It's just the first. If it doesn't work out, it might be the last. If that's not enough syllables for you, call it the "inaugural." If you do it again next year, we'll start talking about annual.

Did you notice, in the paragraph above, the periods were inside the quotation marks? That's where they belong. Commas, too.

Speaking of punctuation, apostrophes do not belong in plurals. Apostrophes belong in possessives or contractions. Example: "The dogs pooped on the floor. That is the dogs' poop on the floor." In the event that only one dog didn't make it outside in time, "That is the dog's poop on the floor. The other dogs aren't happy."

Don't use exclamation points. They don't add excitement. They just look like you're trying too hard. F. Scott Fitzgerald said it best: "Cut out all those exclamation points. An exclamation point is like laughing at your own joke."

Fewer things need to be capitalized than you think. People's titles are a big one. It's correct to say "Executive Director Joe Schmo..." but the title becomes lowercase when it does not precede the name — "Joe Schmo, executive director." The perceived importance of that title doesn't matter. It can be the mayor or the president or the editor. Unless it precedes a name, give it a lowercase letter.

That extends to institutions, too. People seem to want to attach uppercase letters to things like colleges, museums, agencies and chambers of commerce. Don't, unless it's part of the official name.

Speaking of executive directors, presidents and such, consider whether that quote from the executive muckety-muck of your organization actually adds any information to the release. If not, consider leaving it out. If you're afraid to do that, that's OK. We'll do it for you.

Adjectives are seldom needed and superlatives are never needed. Nobody is "dazzling" or "effervescent." No show is "electrifying." If an adjective is subjective, open to judgment or taste, leave it out.

Avoid future progressive tense. Don't say you will "be doing" something. You will not "be performing" or "be meeting." You will perform or meet.

Don't try to be cute or clever. Just give the information. If we — or worse, our readers — have to decipher what you're trying to say, you're not helping anyone.

Don't start with the date. Bad: "On Oct. 31, children in Starville will march in the annual Halloween Parade." Better: "Children in Starville will march in the annual Halloween Parade on Oct. 31.

Don't address readers as "you" or your organization as "we." It's a news release, not a letter to Grandma.

A few personal pet peeves that don't neatly fit into the categories above:

Nobody is "87 years young." Stop it. I'm significantly younger than 87 and can admit I'm old.

When you list admission prices, don't tell us children are free. Tell us children will be admitted free. Unless, of course, you're giving away kids. Even then, any parent will tell you there's no such thing as a free child.

And finally, one for our police friends. Whenever I read that someone was "released on appearance tickets," I wonder — were they standing on the tickets or sitting on them?

There are more. So many more. But I've complained enough. I hope I've sprinkled enough entertainment in the grouchiness to keep you reading this far.

And, please, keep sending your news releases.

Robert Cairns is the editor of The Daily Star. He can be reached at rcairns@thedailystar.com.