Colwell: These turkeys earned recognition this year
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With Thanksgiving almost here, it’s time to present the annual Turkey of the Year Awards.
Recipients may cry fowl. But even if they haven’t been turkeys all year, each winner has done something to merit this prestigious recognition.
The awards for 2022:
The Turkey of the Year Award for an Indiana candidate goes to Andrew Wilhoite of Boone County. Although accused of killing his wife, he won a Republican township board nomination. Then he quit the race, figuring voters in November would hold the murder charge against him. But with straight-party voting in the red state, he might have won.
The Vanishing Turkey Award goes to St. Joseph County Democrats.
The Annual Gobbler for Being a Squabbler is awarded to St. Joseph County Republicans for using a squabble over keys to a ballot storage room to sow doubt on election integrity.
In medicine, the turkey goes to Dr. Oz, the New Jersey doctor who practiced politics in Pennsylvania.
In climate change science, Donald Trump gets the bird for saying oceans would only rise 1/8 of an inch in the next 200 to 300 years.
Moving to take advantage of fall colors earns a turkey for Pete Buttigieg, who moved from bright red Indiana to bright blue Michigan.
Column:Colwell: South Bend's Pete Buttigieg making a move
In history, President Biden deserves the turkey. He wouldn’t believe the history that a newly-elected president’s party loses big in House and Senate races in the next midterm election.
Vice President Kamala Harris receives a turkey that will fly away as fast as members of her staff.
The Supreme Court wins a turkey for officiating in high school football. The court weighed in on when a coach has a right to pray on the field. Still, for fans: “It’s whether you win or lose, not how you pray the game.”
Sen. Todd Young got no Trump Turkey award, but he still won by a landslide without endorsement of the former president.
The Turkey of the Year Award for misplaced priorities goes to Mike Schmuhl. He spent all those long hours and hard work as Indiana Democratic chairman. Could instead have had visible results if he spent that time remodeling and reopening Joe’s Bar, the iconic establishment he bought on South Bend’s west side.
Column:Howey: Indiana Democrats show up in rural Indiana
A turkey waddling backwards goes to Sen. Mike Braun, who sought to walk back his comments that the Supreme Court was incorrect in legalizing interracial marriage in 1967. That’s one right Justice Clarence Thomas wouldn’t repeal.
In football, Notre Dame coach Marcus Freeman gets a turkey for enabling Marshall to successfully impersonate a top team.
Brian Kelly, though still proving his coaching skill at LSU, receives a turkey with a fake southern accent.
In baseball, the American League turkey is given to Tony La Russa. Not just for a weird decision to walk a batter already with two strikes, but for presiding all summer over terrible play by a White Sox team designed to reach the World Series.
The National League turkey goes to Tom Ricketts, wealthy poverty-pleading chairman of the Chicago Cubs. He again tanked the team, saving money and believing that one World Series entitles him to fleece Cubs fans ever after.
The turkey in fiction goes to Alex Jones, conspiracy theorist who made a lot of money and now faces huge fines in promoting the cruel lie that the Sandy Hook massacre never happened.
In nonfiction, Mike Pence wins for still defending The Former Guy in his book, all the way until the Jan. 6 insurrection and the calls to “Hang Mike Pence!”
A turkYE goes to Kanye West for his new name.
In education, Indiana state Sen. Scott Baldwin gets a turkey for saying teachers must be impartial when discussing Nazism.
In international affairs, the Turkey Piece Prize goes to Vladimir Putin. The piece he deserves is the east end of a turkey traveling west.
Jack Colwell is a columnist for The Tribune. Write to him in care of The Tribune or by email at jcolwell@comcast.net.
This article originally appeared on South Bend Tribune: In honor of Thanksgiving, the annual Turkey Awards go to these newsmakers.
