Comedian Nikki Glaser Would Rather Be ‘Fuckable’ Than Funny

·3 min read
Photo Illustration by The Daily Beast/Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic/Getty
Photo Illustration by The Daily Beast/Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic/Getty

Nikki Glaser is a world-class stand-up comedian, a ruthless celebrity roaster, and an endlessly engaging daily podcaster. Now, she’s also a reality TV star thanks to her new gig hosting the deliberately absurd dating show FBoy Island on HBO Max.

On this week’s episode of The Last Laugh podcast, Glaser talks about how she landed her dream job after “embarrassing” herself on Dancing with the Stars, shares her unvarnished opinions on body image and cancel culture, and reveals some wild behind-the-scenes stories about roasting Ann Coulter, Caitlyn Jenner, Alec Baldwin, Blake Griffin, and more.

“I used to be so ashamed of trying to look hot,” Glaser admits. “So now I’m just kind of indulging in that. I am single. I don’t care if I’m perceived as sexy. I should be. I’m trying to find a mate. I’m trying to find someone who looks at me and goes, ‘Oh, that makes my dick fill with blood and I kind of would like to put my penis in that.’ I’m not trying to find a life partner who goes, ‘Oh my god, she’s so funny.’ That’s not what I’m looking for in a relationship, is someone who tells me I’m funny all the time. Because I know I am.”

“I just want someone who tells me I’m fuckable all the time,” she continues. “Because I don’t know that I am. So until I find someone to love me forever, I’m going to keep putting thirst pics out there. Why not?”

That unapologetic attitude mirrors the overall aesthetic of FBoy Island, which was filmed on the Cayman Islands earlier this year and pits 12 self-described “nice guys” against 12 proud “fuck boys” to win the hearts of three beautiful women.

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“I told my agents I want to work in reality because it’s all I watch,” Glaser explains. “Why am I trying to make content that I don’t even enjoy or have a passion for? And I’ve watched enough reality to know exactly what I would want to do, what voice I would want to bring to it.” She spends much of the series, which premieres this Thursday, July 29th on HBO Max, roasting the male contestants, who don’t seem entirely in on the joke.

It’s Glaser’s second big foray into reality TV after being the first celebrity voted off of Dancing with the Stars in 2018, an experience she still considers “one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.”

She says she should have seen the writing on the wall because, “You know this game is rigged, right? And you can just look at the schedule? You can just feel the vibe of the producers not making eye contact with you and everyone not really worrying about your next dance.”

Her newfound career as a reality TV star has the potential to push Glaser into another stratosphere of celebrity, but she’s already wary about the scrutiny that might invite.

“It makes me nervous to do anything that makes you even a little bit more famous because that’s when people start sorting through your past material and trying to find ways to take you down,” she says. “It’s coming, and I know exactly the jokes they’re going to come after me for.”

Listen to the episode now and subscribe to ‘The Last Laugh’ on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google, Stitcher, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts and be the first to hear new episodes when they are released every Tuesday.

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