Commentary: Fatherhood starts with being there. Where is 'there?' There is everywhere.
In observance of Father’s Day, it’s important that we take some time to reflect on the role that fathers play in the life of a child.
What does it mean to be a father? The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines the word father as:
A male parent.
A man who has begotten a child.
However, if my daughter Hannah described me using only that definition, I certainly would feel like I failed her.
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This is how I define the word father: a person who plays a significant role in a child’s life by providing unconditional love, support, inspiration, guidance, encouragement, patience, kindness and understanding.
What does it mean to be a father? It means acting as a role model, demonstrating strong character, and leading by example. If you are an effective father, it also means that you are emulated, admired, and loved.
Currently, 25% of children in our community are living without their biological father in the home. Although a father may live separately, it does not mean that he’s not part of the child’s life.
In my role as program administrator for the Stark County Fatherhood Coalition, I work with fathers in Stark County to establish, maintain and grow those connections with their children — no matter what kind of challenges they may be facing.
Our mission is simple: We encourage fathers to take an active role in their child’s life and promote and sponsor activities designed to strengthen families. If you are not familiar with the Stark County Fatherhood Coalition, allow me to introduce the organization.
We are a 501(c)3 nonprofit administered through Stark County Job and Family Services. Our main function is to develop engaging events for fathers to enjoy with their children.
Any male role model may participate, including fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, or anyone else who fulfills the role of father to a child. We also encourage mothers and stepmothers to attend with their family.
Some of our most popular events include Father’s Walk Your Child to School Day, Annual Fishing Rodeo, Cooking with Dad classes, and special events hosted with the Pro Football Hall of Fame and Canton Museum of Art.
Fatherhood can be hard, and we understand that.
When I began my fatherhood journey, there wasn’t a parenting book out there that could have offered the advice I needed. While my wife was pregnant, and even after my daughter’s birth in the hospital, I felt nothing but euphoria.
It wasn’t until the car ride home from the hospital that it hit me: There is a tiny human being in the backseat who will need me forever. At that realization, I couldn’t take my eyes off her in the rearview mirror.
I vividly remember the look that my wife and I exchanged on what seemed to be the longest ride home ever. Honestly, it was more like a silent gulp that translated to, "What just happened?"
Of course, I'm not the kind of guy who would have read a parenting book, even if the perfect one had been available. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the tips, advice and suggestions. But, to me, being a father isn’t about following instructions to "Do this" or "Do that."
What worked for my buddy may not have worked for me, and that’s OK. What I am saying is, I found that the journey through fatherhood starts with being there. Where is "there?" There is everywhere.
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Take every opportunity you can to show your children that they are a priority in your life. Spend time with them talking, laughing and playing. Be there to pick them up when they fall. Be there to protect them. And be there even when they are mad at you because you won’t let them have an account on Facebook, TikTok, Snapchat, or Instagram (sorry Hannah, I couldn’t resist).
Here are some examples of things you can start doing right now to make a significant impact: Read to them, smile at them, hug them, hold them, change their diapers, rock them to sleep, correct them, praise them and check on them in the middle of the night.
We often use the phrase "I would do anything for my children." Show it by doing anything with your children.
The true definition of father cannot be found in a dictionary — it's yours to define.
I encourage you to work on your definition by spending as much quality time as you can with your child. The bonds you create together can set the foundation for the rest of their life.
I wish you all a happy Father's Day and hope you will join us for an event in the future, it’s a great opportunity to have fun with your children and meet other fathers.
To learn more about the Stark County Fatherhood Coalition, please call 330-451-8477 or email me at Matthew.Lytle@jfs.ohio.gov. You can also follow us on Facebook to receive event news and updates at www.facebook.com/StarkCountyFatherhoodCoalition.
Matt Lytle is program administrator of the Stark County Fatherhood Coalition at Stark County Job & Family Services.
This article originally appeared on The Repository: Matt Lytle urges fathers to focus on their children
