Connecticut LGBTQ community celebrates Respect for Marriage Act signing and looks ahead

Dec. 15—On Wednesday, the day after President Joe Biden signed the Respect for Marriage Act, Chevelle Moss-Savage said "to say that I'm elated, to say that I'm overjoyed, and to say that I feel seen and heard, is an understatement."

The OutCT president said she had breathed a sigh of relief.

The Respect for Marriage Act codifies into federal law recognition of same-sex marriage and interracial marriage, which the U.S. Supreme Court respectively did through Obergefell v. Hodges in 2015 and Loving v. Virginia in 1967. Same-sex marriage has been legally recognized in Connecticut since 2008, following a state court decision that civil unions did not provide the same rights as marriages.

Moss-Savage got married in Washington, D.C. in 2012 but same-sex marriage was not yet legal in her home state of Virginia, meaning she and her partner had to have separate health insurance.

After the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade in June, she was one of many people who voiced fear that the court could overturn Obergefell.

The opinion of the Court states that "nothing in this opinion should be understood to cast doubt on precedents that do not concern abortion." But Justice Clarence Thomas argued in a concurring opinion that "in future cases, we should reconsider all of this Court's substantive due process precedents, including Griswold, Lawrence, and Obergefell."

Moss-Savage said after Roe v. Wade was overturned, "I got nervous, because I was wondering if they came for that right, if they are coming for other rights as well."

The Respect for Marriage Act passed 61-36 in the Senate and 258-169 in the House, with all no votes from Republicans.

"We're very proud of the 39 Republican House members and 12 Republican Senators who made this important victory possible," said Bradley and Garrett Bewkes, co-presidents of the Log Cabin Republicans of Connecticut, in a statement. "The GOP is clearly moving forward on marriage equality. We thank the President for signing this into law."

Log Cabin Republicans is an organization representing LGBT conservatives and allies.

OutCT founder Constance Kristofik said she is grateful for these votes but the opposition from Republican lawmakers indicate LGBTQ rights still have a long way to go.

According to a Gallup poll conducted in May, a record 71% of Americans support gay marriage.

Reflecting on Love Makes a Family

Some advocates for LGBT rights reflected this week on the history of Love Makes a Family, a Connecticut organization formed in 1999 that focused on equal rights for same-sex couples, around adoption and marriage. Having achieved its goals, the organization disbanded in 2009. Former executive director Anne Stanback went to Washington, D.C. to see Biden sign the Respect for Marriage Act.

"Today's legislation seals the deal if Obergefell were to be overturned," she wrote in a Facebook post Tuesday. "Still so so much work left to do for the LGBTQ+ community, but today feels like a wonderful closing chapter on an issue that has been one of the passions of my life."

She told The Day that she and others with Love Makes a Family said hearts and minds would change as people got to know their families, and "it is heartening to see that we were right."

Kristofik became involved in Love Makes a Family when the movement came to southeastern Connecticut to spread its message about 14 years ago. She noted there was no local LGBT organization at the time. She went on to start OutCT in 2013.

Kristofik said All Souls Unitarian Universalist Congregation in New London was an organization that advocated for LGBT rights at that time. Reverend Carolyn Patierno also helped Love Makes a Family, and she noted Wednesday that her denomination has supported marriage equality for decades, so "this was not me going out on a limb."

Patierno recalled with a laugh that since she and her partner had entered into a civil union and then civil unions automatically became marriages in the state, they didn't know they were married.

She said she was "relieved" that Biden signed the Respect for Marriage Act and said it's "quite an accomplishment and quite an evolution" that 70% of Americans now support marriage equality.

Looking ahead

The LGBTQ grouping is certainly not a monolith as some people feel they have achieved equality with the legalization of same-sex marriage, while others feel there is still a lot of work to do. Some proudly and loudly identify as queer, while others are more private about their sexuality.

Moss-Savage noted that the lived experiences of people of color who are LGBTQ are "vastly different," and that there can be a complicated intersection with faith communities. Some people, for example, may be out in the workplace but not at church.

Equality Connecticut is an organization aspiring "to advance the rights, health, history, and culture of the LGBTQIA+ community in Connecticut," and director Matt Blinstrubas explained that the group will outline priorities and goals in January for the upcoming legislative session. Blinstrubas was an organizer for Love Makes a Family.

He explained that right before the pandemic, a group of people started meeting "to ask ourselves if there should be a permanent presence to mobilize the LGBT community, to guard our gains and to help our elected officials really continue to meet the evolving needs of LGBT people."

Over the past year and a half, he said, the organization has been securing funding, building a board, developing a mission statement, and more.

Blinstrubas called the signing of the Respect for Marriage Act "a thrilling culmination of decades of movement-building and advocacy around kitchen tables and in legislatures and communities across the country."

Jake Troy said that he and other members of the LGBTQ community "do not just want tolerance; we want acceptance and understanding, and this act provides a safety net from a very hard-right-wing agenda that has pervaded the Supreme Court."

Troy, who serves as chairman of the Ledyard Democratic Town Committee, added that while Connecticut has changed rapidly, "we still have a long way to go in finding that accepting, loving place," pointing to the persistence of both transphobic remarks from political candidates and offensive language.