We are in control of our own happiness
The older one gets, what many come to realize, is that little matters except the people in their lives. Money is just paper or metal that represents value. Gold is just a metal we have given the importance of backing what we call money.
There are basic needs everyone has: hunger, thirst, shelter, being cared for by another human. These being met, the rest is gravy; things that give enjoyment to life.
The only real reality is change. I once thought Santa was real, then I found out he was just an illusion created by some distant adult. We can change a whole lot of things, complaining to acceptance of differences, sadness to happiness, we are in control of our own lives.
We all try to fit into what we believe others expect of us; what will make us appealing to them. Since no two people believe exactly the same thing, there are myriad things going on in our minds, with this list getting larger with each different person we encounter. There are periods of extreme happiness, the lowest of sadness, as we try to fit into many different persons’ acceptance.
The fact is each of us must come to realize you can’t satisfy all others and we must work on the happiness of self-acceptance/satisfaction. We must make the personal decisions that will be right for the job we were created for.
I have found we can train our brain to be happy and we can help others to blaze their trail in this direction. How? It’s as simple as making the decision to be happy, all the while realizing there will be periods when we must take care of business; we must be considerate of others; we must decide to eliminate some people from our lives. After all, each of us is really in control of ourselves and no one else.
Our brains don’t know the difference between reality and dreams. To our brains, a daydream is something that might just be reality in the planning stage. That’s for each of us to decide. When someone tells us, “That can’t be done,” they’re be talking about themselves; they can’t make that decision for us!
If someone tells us that, and we still want to do whatever it is, we just have to toughen up and focus, leaving this supposed insurmountable ‘thing’ to this wonderful brain that was our gift at birth. It will invent ways to accomplish anything we decide we're going to do!
When I was a little girl I told my alcoholic father I was going to college. I was told, “I’m not paying for it!” I went to college and became a well-respected teacher. Each of us can do anything we set our mind to do. It’s up to the individual to make decisions about his or her own life. It’s like the old song says, “accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, and don’t mess with Mr. In-between.”
Complaining is just wasting valuable time. Decide “ I’m going to...” then do it. The only thing in our path is the obstacle/person we allow to be there. Thomas Edison proved this when his light bulb didn’t light 200 hundred times. When told he’d failed, so give it up, he informed the person that he never failed: ”I just found 200 ways that didn’t work.” And he finally lit up our lives! Success can be right around the corner for us, too.
We are so in charge of ourselves that even with my alcoholic father making people look at my older sister and me as ‘poor trash,’ one of my early teachers took me under his wing and explained the very things I’ve mentioned in this column.
He and one of my earlier teachers sat me down and explained the facts of life. “You can be happy, you can be successful at anything you choose if you’re willing to work for it. Never accept anything but your best!”
When I complained, I was told, “No one wants to hear that stuff. People want to hear positive things.” Soon I heard myself echoing the things these people instilled in me. I passed this knowledge onto my own children and the 29 years worth of students I taught.
Just today I heard one of the girls I taught tell her student, “Program your mind to be happy; you’re in charge of YOU.” The child smiled and said, “I’m happy, I’m happy...” then she turned to her teacher, smiled , and said, ”It works, just like you said,” then ran outside to recess.
Her husband (who had stopped by) agreed. Then he looked at me and laughed. “Her classroom sounds like our house; we’re all happy there. Brenda insists on it.”
We can each make of ourselves anything we decide. That is a part of our genetic code, that and success at anything we tackle. It all depends on the only one who is in control. That’s the individual. That is you/me!
Faye Harris is a former Lenawee County resident who retired from North Adams Schools. She can be reached at fayeharris77@yahoo.com.
This article originally appeared on The Monroe News: We are in control of our own happiness
