Coronavirus Brings New 'Demons' To Those Battling Addiction

REMSENBURG, NY — For Remsenburg mother Lisa Oehler, the challenges posed by the new coronavirus mean far more than just stocking up on supplies or following social distancing protocols. As her son RJ Holman wages his fierce battle with addiction, coronavirus becomes a deadly enemy that stands to threaten his life as he struggles to stay sober at a time when in-person meetings and other lifelines are not available.

Just last week, Oehler said, RJ made the decision to check himself into his 18th rehab stay.

"Each time, you hope it’s going to be the time that leads to a forever life of sobriety," she said.

Holman decided to return home the next day; he opted to continue to wage the war at home, by watching motivational videos, writing — and tapping into his own well of strength.

The challenges of staying sober during coronavirus are mounting, experts said.

According to Dr. Jeffrey Reynolds, president and chief executive officer of the Family and Children's Association in Mineola: "This has been a rough few weeks for folks struggling with substance use disorders. Lots of people are out of work, have no money coming in, the local heroin supply has dried up and access to treatment and services has gotten tougher. Layer on top of that the fear, anxiety and uncertainty that comes with the pandemic, and it’s almost like a perfect storm."

Based on what Reynolds said has been seen, alcohol use is "way up. I’m wondering what will happen when all these folks who are drinking at 3 p.m. have to go back to an office environment. Some will be able to stop, but others won’t," he said.

Online support groups, he said, have become very popular and logging on anonymously is easier that physically walking into a meeting, especially if it’s a person's first time.

"But there’s a trade-off in terms of the quality of the interaction and the personal touch. At FCA, we’ve successfully moved all of our services online and to the phone, but I’d bet there are a fair amount of folks falling through the cracks, who are not yet engaged in treatment, recovery coaching or support groups," he said.

And the fear is that deadly impact of coronavirus could be an increase in overdoses due to social isolation.

“We are anecdotally hearing about overdoses and suicides, and although the data isn’t in yet, I’d bet that rates of both will be up in 2020 and those deaths may rival deaths from the virus itself," Reynolds said. "Post-pandemic life will probably look very different and the next phase our collective mitigation strategy should be focused on the mental health aspects of this crisis."

Broadcast journalist Drew Scott, who lost his granddaughter Hallie Rae to an overdose, serves as co-chair of the Southampton Opioid Addiction Task Force and in other towns in western Suffolk. "The task force will be stepping up our efforts to keep these good folks in sobriety but these are very trying times," he said. "We've got to keep them busy physically as well as emotionally.”

Her son, Oehler said, has walked a painful road. "He was in jail for three months for violating drug court conditions. After his release jail did not send him with his meds; he was not on a prescription. This clearly led to instability. He began going to outpatient and seeing a psychiatrist. It took a while for him to become stable again. During that interim, there were a couple of relapses," she said.

Consistency began to build with meds, meetings, and outpatient treatment, Oehler said.

"Then coronavirus hit. He was quarantined and pure boredom kicked in. The demons started pounding in his head," she said.

Her son's appointments became virtual; in-person AA and NA meetings were no longer being held.

Last week, she said, "he decided he could no longer live like this. He made the decision to check himself back into rehab to regain the stability and be surrounded by like minded people who understand both addiction and mental illness."

Speaking with Patch, RJ described his story of addiction and recovery, which has proven even more difficult after coronavirus has kept everyone isolated at home.

"This journey has proven to be one filled with nightmares, overshadowed by miracles — miracles that keep me going," he said. "Mornings are harder than nights. It can take me a while to remind myself that I’m worth it."

But RJ said he refuses to stop fighting. "After a flurry of trials and tribulations I refuse to give up at this point in time. Jails and institutions have numbed me, as well as softened me to sad realities, opened my mind and taught me patience. There’s nothing more painful than knowing you have talent and that you’re worth something but being locked in miniature cell on a two-inch pad of a bed to watch your life waste away," he said.

Of coronavirus, RJ added: "This time is particularly difficult, as something I require is close communication with my peers, which the virus prevents. No meetings. I can’t get out and do the things that make me happy, which is vital to my fight."

However, he said, "I will not allow my disease take me out. I’ve battled too hard."

For Oehler, watching her son struggle has left her feeling "exhausted, helpless, like I’m always having to put on a front. I wish mostly as a mother I could reach inside him, grab the demons, and put them inside me instead of him."

On the flip side, though, Oehler said she feels thankful that through her son battling "this painful beast" they have become educated and able to spread awareness.

"This journey has placed many people in our lives for so many right reasons," she said.

To that end, Oehler and her son have decided to create a Facebook page to promote awareness regarding addiction and mental illness. The goal is to shatter the stigma many fighting the battle with addiction face — to show that addiction can happen to anyone and to offer a light of hope.

"Trust me, six years ago I was completely ignorant to these diseases and had really no idea what families were struggling through," Oehler said.

Recently, she said, RJ has taken to writing inspirational quotes which has led her to do the same.

"It’s not only therapeutic, but uplifting and can be life changing. RJ will be creating new quotes while working on his recovery," she said.

The page is called “A Mother’s Love-Our Road to Recovery" and both said they hope others struggling with the specter of addiction will turn to the page for help.

Other resources are available.

"Addiction doesn’t take time off, and neither do we," the New York State Office of Addiction Services and Supports said. "If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction to alcohol, substances, or gambling, treatment is available all across New York State."

Those in need of help can call New York State’s Hopeline at 1-877-846-7369 or text 467369. The Hopeline is available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. All calls are toll-free, anonymous and confidential. Hopeline staff can answer questions and help those struggling to find treatment in their areas. Information and resources are also available on the OASAS website.

Gov. Andrew Cuomo has also put out the call for help during the coronavirus crisis; scores of mental health professionals are offering services for free. For free counseling, call 1-844-863-9314 to schedule a mental health appointment.

This article originally appeared on the Westhampton-Hampton Bays Patch