A couple celebrating their 70-year wedding anniversary share their tips for relationship success, from dinner dates to hobbies
Joanie and Jimmy Goodman
Joanie and Jimmy Goodman celebrated their 70-year wedding anniversary on July 9.
During that time, they had three children, plus grandchildren and great grandchildren. They also ran a business together for 30 years.
Jimmy said the keys to their marriage longevity are love and respect for each other, and Joanie said she likes to keep things exciting with daily dinner dates.
When Joanie Charles was 16 years old, she moved to Columbus, Ohio, with her father, following the death of her mother. She felt sad and lonely, until her neighbor introduced her to Jimmy Goodman.
"He took me out to dinner for my birthday and we've been together ever since," Joanie told Insider of their first date during her senior year of high school.
Joanie, 90, and Jimmy Goodman, 94, wed on July 9, 1950, and they've been together ever since, for a total of 70 years of marriage.
In that time, they've had three children of their own, eight grandchildren, and nine great grandchildren, and a clothing business they ran together for 30 years. Now, they spend their days together at an independent living center in Scottsdale, Arizona, where they stay up late, sleep in, and have daily date nights.
Insider spoke with Joanie about their relationship and how they've made it work over the last seven decades, and tips for keeping a marriage going so long.
Joanie and Jimmy Goodman
Joanie knew Jimmy was the one, but she understands dating life is different now
Joanie said there was never a doubt in her mind that she wanted to marry Jimmy, but recognizes that isn't the reality for couples today.
"In those days you went to college, but your goal was not a career. Your goal was to get married and I never thought of anything else," Joanie said.
After graduating high school, she first went to college in upstate New York and then at Ohio State University. During that time, she and Jimmy knew marriage was on the horizon.
"He was already out of college and we got pinned. That's what they used to do. You'd wear a fraternity pin that meant you were going to be engaged," Joanie said. During that time, "we didn't live together. You didn't sleep together. You just said, 'OK, we're going to get married.' And that's what we did."
Joanie said she never judged her daughters who dated around more than she did at their age, but never regretted getting married at such a young age.
Their only arguments were over Jimmy's poker habit and Joanie's love of shopping
Joanie said the only time she could recall having a difficult argument with her husband was over his poker habit.
When they first got married, Jimmy worked as a traveling salesman and was away from home for most of the week, leaving Joanie to care for their three children alone. When he returned for the weekend, Joanie would be excited to spend time together, but Jimmy would go to the country club to play poker with friends.
"He'd want to play poker and it wasn't like he wanted to play poker from 7 PM to 9 PM. It was like he wanted to play poker from 7 PM until 3 AM, and that was heavy duty," Joanie said.
It was "a very difficult time," she said, but they "just struggled through it."
"We'd have a fight and then we'd make up, and then he'd play poker the next week," she said. "But that was the only stress, otherwise we got along beautifully."
These days, she would've considered seeing a couple's therapist about it, but that was taboo at the time.
Joanie said she had habits that also bothered Jimmy, like her love of shopping, "but that didn't go away either," and since moving into the facility in Arizona, she's seen how Jimmy's love of poker has given him a hobby to pass the time.
Unlike some couples, Joanie and Jimmy haven't fought at all during lockdown: 'We get along great'
Joanie and Jimmy haven't had any relationship troubles during the pandemic, something many other couples have said they're experiencing right now.
Their day-to-day lives haven't changed much. They wake up around 10 AM, watch TV together (or separately if they want to watch different shows), and enjoy meals that staffers deliver to them before going to bed around midnight, Joanie said.
"We get along great. We were in business together, so, you know, I'm used to having him around and we just love it," she said.
Daily dinner dates keep things interesting
Joanie and Jimmy Goodman
Before the pandemic, Joanie said daily dinner dates with other couples in the facility helped to "keep the excitement going."
"You've got to look forward to something, and I do that. I say, 'Oh, we're going to do this, and we'll kind of do that,' and that's very helpful," Joanie said.
Love is important, but it has to come with respect
When Joanie asked Jimmy why he thought their marriage had been so successful after decades together, he only had three words: "Respect and love."
"And that's a big thing with us. We both respect one another and love one another and it makes it a lot easier in life," Joanie said, and those keys have played an important role in how they've been handling the current pandemic.
"We're not picking on one another. We're just happy to be here and do whatever we can because we're locked up. So what are you gonna do? You make the best of it," Joanie said.
Read more:
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How to date, have sex, and fall in love during the coronavirus pandemic
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