Young CT woman shares story of survival during teen dating violence awareness and prevention month

Sofia Veronesi said she was just 15 years old when she met a boy only slightly older who would later isolate, control and assault her.

Veronesi said she spent her 16th birthday bleeding from her head after being struck by the person. She said she missed milestones like her prom and high school graduation as she struggled to escape the depth of depression that followed years of emotional and physical abuse. And seemingly no one noticed.

But this Valentine’s Day, a confident and emboldened Veronesi, now 18, stood inside the Connecticut state Capitol and shared her story of survival in recognition of February’s designation as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness And Prevention Month.

Mary-Jane Foster, president and CEO of Hartford-based Interval House — which hosted an event at the Capitol on Tuesday recognizing the month’s designation — said that they gathered on a holiday dedicated to love and romance to remind people across Connecticut that “there is never an excuse for abuse” and to highlight the often ignored scourge of dating violence in teenage relationships.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one in 12 high school students in the United States experienced physical dating violence or sexual dating violence in 2019. Veronesi was one of many.

For nearly three years, Veronesi said, she was isolated from her friends and family, a common tactic of control by abusers. She stopped playing sports, cut ties with friends and lost all sense of her independence. Her abuser tracked her location, monitored her social media interactions and encouraged her to quit co-ed athletics, she said.

As she recalled watching her peers return to normalcy after the peak of the pandemic, posing for photos at prom and celebrating at graduation parties, she said she felt like her life “was over before it had begun.”

During the COVID-19 pandemic, national statistics showed a drastic spike in domestic violence rates. Veronesi said her own circumstance was escalated by the pandemic, when she spent time in quarantine with the person.

“That was definitely a big part of it, being out of school and being isolated. I couldn’t go to class or really escape that person,” she said on Tuesday. “It definitely made it so much worse and really escalated the severity in the relationship.”

Eventually, the emotional abuse and control escalated and left her wounded and concussed, she said.

After that, leaving the person was a difficult road. But today, Veronesi is working toward healing and building her future.

She has started running again and enrolled in college courses to pursue a career in criminal justice, with plans to attend the University of New Haven starting next year.

“I believe we can take our worst moments and use them to become our best selves,” she said.

Part of that journey, the teen said, includes sharing her story in hopes of inspiring other survivors or their loved ones to speak up and ask for help.

Surrounded by state leaders and domestic violence advocates, Veronesi said Tuesday she wants her story to show other teens they aren’t alone and to help parents understand how to help and support their teens.

“I think parents are a big part of it,” said Veronesi, who said she wishes her parents or the boy’s parents would have stepped in during their relationship.

“To all parents of teens or soon-to-be teenagers, please check in on your kids if they’re starting to enter the dating world,” she said, imploring parents to teach their teenagers that their lives, their interests, their education, their futures, are all more important than their first all-encompassing young love.

“I wish that someone would have opened my eyes,” she said.

During Tuesday’s event at the Capitol, Interval House board member Charon Smalls said that as a school social worker, father and husband, he wants to help teach children, parents and educators alike about the risks of teen dating violence and the importance of creating safe spaces for teenagers.

Providing places for teens to share their experiences, concerns and questions is pivotal to helping them understand healthy behaviors in relationships, he said.

He also hopes adults will set good examples for teens, by instilling self-confidence and self-love into them, and creating strong examples of loving, caring men in their lives.

Speaker of the House Matt Ritter joined advocates Tuesday and said that when he looks at his own daughters, he hopes that they would feel comfortable speaking with him or his wife if they were in trouble or needed guidance, but he recognizes that not all children and teens have safe adult relationships at home.

That’s where organizations like Interval House and organizations like it come into play.

Assuming that teens have parents who can model healthy relationships or recognize the red flags of abuse, he said, “ignores the complicated realities of life.”

But there are resources across Connecticut that can provide those types of support.

“These agencies can step in and fill a void,” he said.

The speaker pledged to prioritize support and funding for the more than a dozen organizations under the Connecticut Coalition Against Domestic Violence umbrella.

Earlier this month, President Joseph R. Biden issued a proclamation recognizing February as National Teen Dating Violence Awareness And Prevention Month and urging Americans to teach teenagers about the difference between healthy and unhealthy dating behaviors.

When we teach teens about healthy, nonviolent relationships, we support their development and create safer, healthier communities for everyone,” the president said in the proclamation.

Biden recognized CDC data that shows that “young women, transgender teens, and gender nonconforming youth are disproportionately affected” by dating violence, which can happen in person, through texting or on social media.

According to the CDC, intimate partner violence includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological aggression and stalking.

Unhealthy and abusive relationships can have short and long-term impacts on developing teens, including depression and anxiety, addictive behaviors, violence and suicidal ideations. Adolescent relationships also set the stage for future relationships, the CDC said.

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, free and confidential resources are available 24/7 by calling or texting the CTSafeConnect hotline at 888-774-2900 or the National Domestic Violence hotline at 800-799-7233.