Daddy Days: 'Daddy’s 6' could be a sequel to 'Ocean's 11'
Remember the movie "Ocean’s 11"? Originally from 1960 and featuring the Rat Pack, the movie was remade in 2001 with two sequels. The movies feature a charming crook, Danny Ocean, who assembles a crack team of collaborators to pull off an elaborate heist.
In these kinds of ensemble movies, each person brings a special skill to the team (safe cracker, explosives expert, pick pocket, driver, etc.) as well as their own unique personality and character. I think I’ve assembled my own crew of variously talented individuals.
The ring leader. This is the 10-year-old. He has the air of one who knows he’s in charge without having to say it. He also has a knack for knowing what the members in his posse are thinking and how that can apply to achieving whatever mission he’s intent on. The team implicitly trusts his decision making even if things don’t pan out well. And that’s a vital attribute for a ring leader.
As much as every group needs a leader, it also needs a head co-conspirator. In the "Ocean’s" movies, Rusty is Danny’s right hand man. In my Daddy’s Six, the 9-year-old is the 10-year-old’s calm counter balance. The leader organizes the big plan and the co-conspirator dives into individual issues. He’s the problem solver as much as he’s the co-leader. Need to plan a cookie heist?* Talk to the ring leader. Need to figure out how to get the lid off the cookie jar silently? Call in the problem solver.
The ninja. The 7-year-old is quick, nimble and sneaky as a fox. He has a knack for not getting caught and a lack of appreciation for gravity. Every crack team needs a guy who can pull off acrobatics, a grease man as it were. The 7-year-old is that kid.
The muscle. The 5-year-old is a tank. He’s the bodyguard, and the all-around tough guy. He’s the size of an 8-year-old and as strong as an 8-year-old donkey. He’s approximately that stubborn as well. But that’s what you get when you need muscle. And every team needs a tough guy.
The temperamental jack of all trades. He’s the guy no one is sure they can count on because he’s so temperamental. This is the 3-year-old. This character adds suspense in books and movies and tension in real life. One second he’s immediately carrying out his assignment. The next he’s standing with arms folded and not making eye contact. The only thing more powerful than his charming smiles are his tempestuous fits. Yet he’s an accessory to every stage of the heist. He’s the only one who gets away with talking back to the ring leader and probably the only one who can get away with just about anything that needs to be pulled off.
The distraction. Most heists require coordination with a well-planned distraction. The distractor needs to be a master of disguise and have a face that’s above suspicion. It’s hard to suspect a baby of much, so the 18-month-old is the perfect accessory to any operation. The distractor also has to be beyond the effect of embarrassment. This is not a problem for the 18-month-old. Public scenes are kind of his jam.
As you can see, I have indisputably assembled the dream team of domestic roguery. Now if I could only channel their talents into something constructive…
*Disclaimer: Boys, this statement should in no way be interpreted to encourage, authorize, or approve of any type of heist (dessert-related or otherwise) and should not be construed as parental sanction of any past or future confectionary filching. Nice try.
Harris and his wife live in Pflugerville with their six sons. Please email comments or suggestions for future columns to thoughtsforcaleb@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Daddy Days: 'Daddy’s 6' could be a sequel to 'Ocean's 11'
