Daddy Days: A Father’s Day column featuring Darth Vader
I recently watched "Star Wars: A New Hope" with the older two boys. I’m not a Star Wars fanboy but I have to say the originals hold up as great action/adventure films.
In the second (we’ll, fifth movie— it’s so confusing) there’s that well-known scene where Darth Vader declares he’s the father of the young protagonist. The 9-year-old basically hissed, “he’s lying!” at the TV screen when this happened. Two days after we watched the movie, the 10-year-old came and asked me, in a tone of self-assured dubiousness, “Darth Vader isn’t actually his father, right?”
Alas, he is. The purity of a Jedi Knight’s lineage blemished by the black stain of that cosmically evil lord of the Sith. I could tell the boys were shocked by the truth.
It’s a startling plot twist. But one not totally foreign to sons. Now, thankfully, very few boys will be confronted with the dramatic revelation that their father is a Darth Vader. But most will come to the revelation that THIS is their father.
This man whose receding hairline is a harbinger of your future, or whose embarrassment threshold is far above telling “dad jokes” to your friends, or whose fashion sense is Fred Flintstone meets Professor Brown from "Back to the Future." Yes, he is your father.
This man whose patience level may be as low as his expectations can be high, or whose idea of fun is mowing the grass, or whose dance skills rival that of Elaine Benes. Yes, he is your father.
This man whose favorite band may be a barbershop quartet, or whose idea of wit is introducing himself to restaurant servers as “your customer for tonight,” or whose life may be the inspiration for all of those “becoming your parents” Progressive commercials. Yes, he is your father.
It’s a startling plot twist for a teenager when this really hits home. Many react the way Vader’s son did in the movie — “Noooooooo!” Their father reaches out and says take my hand (or perhaps pull my finger …) and the son reacts like he’s being asked to join the dark side.
Sons pull away and often resolve not to be like their dad. But their acknowledgment or rejection of their dad doesn’t change the fact: you are his son. Some come to terms with this early but I think most have to wait until they have kids for it to sink in. The older their kids get the more the phrase goes from “I am your father” to “I am like my father.”
And eventually to, my son is like me.
There’s a great George Strait song called “Love Without End, Amen” where he refers to that realization. He sings, “There was no doubt that stubborn boy was just like my father’s son.”
Strait picks up on the common observance that dads can often trace their worst traits in the outlines of their sons. This time, it’s dad going, “Noooooo!”
There’s one more facet to the multifaceted relationship of fathers and sons worth noting though. It plays out in the final scenes of "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi" and also involves Darth Vader and his son. I don’t want to give anything specific away but let’s just say while dads often easily spy their own worst traits in their sons, they sometimes fail to see the best traits there, too.
The good news is whether dads see it or not, those good traits can work to their benefit. Just like whether sons accept it or not, their father is their father. And that is to their benefit.
Star Wars, dad jokes, George Strait, and Progressive commercials? This must be the most Father’s Day column ever. Happy Father’s Day, Fathers!
Harris and his wife live in Pflugerville with their six sons. Please email comments or suggestions for future columns to thoughtsforcaleb@gmail.com.
This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Daddy Days: A Father’s Day column featuring Darth Vader
